Mazi Must (NOT) Die!

That awkward moment when you wake up at first light (to go discretely dispose of accumulated garbage) and can’t seem to find your ‘mischief bra’ anywhere.


Yesterday, I sat in front of my computer for quite a bit.
I just sat staring.
After a while, I started playing “*FLAMES1 ” with my name and a particular gentleman’s name. After being “Admirers”, “Friends” for life and eventually “Married” I realized what I was doing and moved on to face important things like worrying about my braces and IF they'd ever come off.

The story of ‘My braces and I’ is something that begun early 2009 and depending on how I count it, our relationship has lasted for 4 going on 40 years.
I think we deserve an anniversary of sorts.

The magical story of how we begun is a page in the memory book that will leave readers with a lesson of ‘what not to do’ when faced with an unexpected load of free time.

I remember the day like it was a 3D movie with larger than life characters jumping at me from off the screen.
If only it were…

I wore a white shirt with my blue jeans petty coat, had fire(red) and blonde shoulder length loose braids (pick and drop) falling from my head, bouncing around my face and playing down my back in a mass of curls, waves and torrents. I carried my blue and white leather bag big cousin A got me (sigh I really loved that bag. I carried it everywhere! If only color blocking started in 2009) and wore sandals (*clear heels2).
In my 4 years of schooling, the then dentistry department beside Hall 5 was a place I had never gone near because for one department of dentistry was around there; I was registered in a posh dental clinic in Port Harcourt (they never really bothered with looking inside my mouth, had a fish tank in their reception with pretty fish swimming within, served assorted candy/sweets to visitors and sent really lovely cards to patients on their birthday – they somehow managed to always forget mine but remember my sisters though. Oh and I went for my appointments with either a jacket or cardigan because “their air conditioner na die”) and secondly, I stayed on the other side of campus.
Going for lectures, I’d either walk through Engineering, past Sciences and land at Basement or wait at my junction for a cab to Main-gate, stop there, take another cab going to Hall 1 and get off at Basement. On occasion, when the deciding planets met and the stars were aligned in my favor my very interesting hot ‘Yello’ neighbor gave me a ride in her baby (code name for her beloved car) and we’d chat about the guys next door while avoiding to discuss the secret craving we both had to kill their mangy terror of a dog.

On that faithful day, the three things which should never be mixed close to me – time, curiosity and a handsome man – came together, ganged up and left me with minus 4 and a half teeth, special needs and a future governed by dental appointments, limited mouth activities and the inability to crack bones.

If I were to go back in time, here is what I'd do:
1. I’d take proper care of my white and blue leather bag.
2. Eat less kpekere (plantain chips) and yes!
3. Go straight home and not let my little legs carry me to unexplored locations when ASUU calls members of staff for an emergency meeting canceling all lectures and practical classes for the day.
In a way, the Federal Government is to be held responsible for my present status. Curse you Government!!

While I'm at it, I believe that everyone deserves a great looking and healthy smile. Follow the link below to learn more

http://www.dentalprices.com.au/quality-assurance/ (*if the link doesn't open at 1st click, kindly copy the address and paste in the address bar of your browser)

Back to the present

The sun is out! Bearing down on me with its splendor and glory. Although there is this chill about the weathers edge, the sun doesn’t look like it’d be taking sometime off. The light of day has banished my plan to work in the darkness. I guess the new plan will be to live to die try another day! For now, I am left with a pile of not so attractive junk in my trunk place.
Urgh!
Waste collection, management and disposal is an issue that has to be properly addressed by the powers that be in Nigeria (seriously) as indiscriminate dumping and disposal of waste has a way of coming back to haunt slash bite in the butt. If not by poisoning ground water and making plants and people sick it could be by serving as a beacon of hope for rats, roaches and other unfriendly rodents that have this nasty habit of being carriers/vectors for certain unattractive diseases.



So, tell me. What’s on your mind?











*1. FLAMES: predication game that says if you and the object of your affection are a match. Each letter of the word represents a category or zone if you'd call it that.
*2. Clear heels: no be from my mouth you go hear that one!

The thing with NEP – daz All

Coming and going these several seasons,
Do stay out on the baobab tree,
Follow where you please your kindred spirits
If indoors is not enough for you.
Abiku, J. P. Clark.



“The Central Bank of Nigeria remains positive that by December 2013 all traces of the polymer Naira notes will be pulled out of circulation. The increasing cost of printing on polymer and the rate at which the inscriptions on the polymer notes faded where part of what led to this decision. However, the cashless policy still holds.”
- Oluyole fm, Ibadan.


My thoughts on the above wise decision by the Central Bank of Nigeria?

“ You don’t say?!” *sarcastically shocked face*

Considering this development, I’m guessing my nephew will have to break his piggy turtle bank I spent love, valuable time and energy making for him way before Christmas.

Question:
What is the point of teaching an impressionable young child how to save with money that does not serve as a store of value?

There I was thinking since Airtel (nee Zain, nee Vmobile, nee Econet, nee *Buddie1?) had seemingly decided on a name that worked, our policy makers will follow suit and divert their attention from making our “legal tender” look pretty and decide to face more important issues like say: constant power supply in Nigeria, vehicle worthy Roads and standardized living for her citizens.
How can I honestly tell a child to “think about the repercussions of your decisions before you act” when the oga at the top; my beloved President and his dear members of Cabinet "okay" decisions to spend tax payers money on lousy whims – flowery number plates, tokunbo airplanes, government proceedings that resemble play dates from hell and my fear slash distrust of uniformed men? Or, could it be possible that my democratic leader is not aware of these occurrences we lament about?

How about that promised breath of fresh air?

I seriously need a whiff!

Speaking of fresh air and promises, it is with great pleasure that I announce to no one in particular that with respect to putting my money where my mouth is, I am keeping one of mine!
I finally decided to dash-dash-dash-dash *dramatic pause* dash! So, I went to see dash-dash-dash and was told dash-dashdash-dash. So now, with my fingers crossed (while rooting for Melvin Oduah in BBA the Chase on the side – although sadly I haven’t seen any episode of the movement) I await the decision of dash.

Yeay me!

Today is Friday, June 21, 2013 the last day of the regular working week. A time to unwind – put up your feet and let down your hair (for those who still have hair).
The mood is perfect for music, love, *magic2 and all other things that fall between!
My dear Prince Charming, have you come or will you come again? How do I know it is you? What markings do you wear?



*1. The Buddie name sounds familiar but I have doubts based on its authenticity.
*2. Magic could also cover that drunken moment when believing you are Whitney Houston or James Brown, you climb up the stage/table top/chair and belt out a tuneless love song to the object of your desire certain that he or she was bound to fall in love.