Stop, wait a minute!

This is me pushing against the current, standing at the door to July and wondering how it got to this.
Yesterday it was May, I had put up a sticky note to "call Ugo" who was initially the only person I knew born in the Month of May (this is the 1st year I haven't called, texted or put up a smiley on his Facebook page).
Before I got a chance to do the 'belated birthday dance' it was June 1st along with the routine barrage of broadcast messages stating the obvious and asking you to 'forward this if you love Jesus'.
Few days after this unbecoming tradition I was first making a fuss, stressing over my dad not being able to have a proper birthday celebration

(I believe: 1. Birthdays are special 2. Are to be celebrated, no matter how quietly 3. Should be marked with something nice like a card/gift/treat or some legal sane act.) Then reminded that my oldest niece, her twin, my sister and my youngest nephew were born not so far apart within the same month and finally juggling party invitations from a clutter of friends inviting me to celebrate with them.
It was when I realised I was moving, putting up pictures on BBM, texting and calling every other day to give my croaky rendition of 'happy birthday to you' I stopped to count 9 months back on my fingers and tried to understand what it was about the harvest season that caused the June baby boom.
It's June 30th today, epiphany eludes me still. Which brings me back to my present position.

Holding on to June.

It is the middle of the year for crying out loud!
It should be at least a day longer like January or December not just start and stop abruptly like a confused car battery. Speaking of cars...
I'd like to send a shout out to the driver and mobile policemen and in both the white and black Hilux trucks with FG licence plates who took one-way not because they had to but because they have 'the power', came out of nowhere and drove straight for my father and I.
You see there was a ditch nearby and we easily could have driven head first into it, shattered the windscreen with our stubborn skulls, flown for few seconds and finally learned if all dogs go to heaven but it turns out the power I serve is greater than the power they have.

Daddy dear held on firmly to the car steering with trembling fingers and kept repeating "I didn't see them" in a shaken voice, he didn't notice my amazed look at his stunt driving abilities.

(* note: seat belts are quite useful)

After confirming we were all alive, he snapped out of the funk and was back to his regular self looking forward to reading the news while munching on groundnut and sipping from his cold glass of beer.

This month I met people, I made new friends.

I watched a couple of drama presentations on stage, went to the movies and I haven't thrown a tantrum over my missing mister (yet).
There have been weddings, deaths and births.

In all these I say thank God.

...

...

Ah well, I guess it's time to move on.

This is me stepping aside and looking forward to the rain and sunshine.
July can only get better.

Cheers! !

Something to say

… About my written words

Sometime in 2013, tired of stalling and wondering “what if…” I scratched my meager earnings from my service year into a humble sum, soaked garri for a couple of weeks and published my first book (kindda like a trial run).
Seeing my name on hardcover alongside an ISBN was a kaleidoscope of emotions that still bring a happy jiggle to my feet.

On the other end of my joy to my amusement, were the reactions I got from my friends...

Say I told a hundred friends about said achievement, 5 from the 100 not only shared in my joy but also surprisingly paid double the amount I told them I was selling the book for. 3 forced me to collect money saying they knew I wasn’t working so I needed the money if not for myself then to aid in the publication of another book. 22 insisted I send copies to them via DHL, speedpost and public transport without a hint of money for either the book or its movement. I struggled to do this knowing fully well I couldn’t afford it. At the end of the day after getting too broke to continue this work of charity, I took to smiling and waving when asked about my book. Till date the remaining 70 are mad at me for not making the book available to them.

In response to this episode, I will start by apologizing to the 70 people I did not respond to. I promise to do a double book launch within the next 3 years and make whatever I produce available throughout the country and even beyond our terror lined Nigerian borders.
Truthfully speaking, I began the process but along the way I realized my feet looked pretty when they were off the ground and on the same level with my cherry bum ‘laziness na winch’ .

… About my life

I have been wearing braces for close to 4 years now.
Things I liked to do with my teeth like cracking chicken bone until it broke and released its nice juicy marrow, opening multiple bottle tops and attempting to bite people who stick their fingers in my face (I was never quite successful though) I had to stop doing because for every bracket I broke at the time, I had to pay N 4,000 for its replacement then deal with a pissed off dentist as well.

Once when asked about my best feature, without thinking I would say my smile.

I have been without this smile and refuse to accept this loss for so long that I cannot honestly answer that question anymore.

The point of these ramblings now is that I was asked if given the chance to go back in time to stop my younger self from making that first trip to the dentist I’d take it. To my surprise and that of the curious mind, after a moments thought, I said “No.” the thing is, as horrible as I feel on occasion when I have to rip apart or delete a really nice picture because I forgot to close my mouth and ended up looking like the abomination between a zombie and the original vampires, thanks to my missing smile, I have been on adventures and trips I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I like the way my life turned out.
I have learned lessons, gotten education met amazing people and mixed with cultures that I ordinarily would have missed.
So, dear concerned family and friends, quit asking me when they’d come off. When they go, they go (you’d probably notice me walking around with a chicken bone in my mouth again). Besides, no be me put them there to start with, I’m no dentist!

… About world people

World people are men and women who would be great but for the fact that they decide to stop living. They spend valuable hours getting involved in other people’s life, monitoring their movements while waiting to bend mouth and spread the latest “news” that does not concern them.

Last month a great woman who made an impact on my life through her written words died age 86.

photo credit: abagond.wordpress.com


I was pretty upset. My mother called to console me. Aside from mentally being sad, I put up her picture on my blackberry messenger, had a tiny fire and the words ‘rest in peace’.
As time passed, I removed the picture and later, the words. Now, it’s only the little fire burning that remains.
Its doesn’t mean her passing is less painful, its just that life happened.
There is no particular rule to life.
The basic thing is I live it! I don’t sit around waiting for all good things to come my way I reach for it and grab it.
So to the few remaining people who cross their legs, sit dead on their high and mighty thrones playing supreme Lord passing judgment on others without knowing what they are going through while wondering what they have done to deserve the horrible horrible things that come their way, I suggest you quit being a corpse and start living.

The End.