Friday, August 22, 2014

Imagine that




I stood like that for almost 10 minutes wondering what my neighbor was doing with furniture in the trunk of her car. With the ongoing strike, I wondered…

1. If she had decided to change profession or was moving on to greener pastures?

2. If she were moving away, would she tell me goodbye or just disappear?

3. Why she choose today of all days to move furniture?

4. Was the furniture new or old?

5. Was she bringing it home to use as firewood?

6. If she preferred pussycats to puppy dogs?


I would have continued to stand in front of the house barefooted with my hands over my head and legs bent into a perfect C if not for the cramp that was beginning to develop in my neck from straining to investigate a situation that was clearly none of my business.

Before then, I had decided to make a report of my latest inquisition but one thing lead to another night came, morning came… today makes it about 5 weeks since then.
At that time, I took it upon myself to uncover the bitter kola conspiracy. I titled the report: ‘Bitter Kola – the handy nut’ and listed some of the benefits “I was told” could be derived from chewing it.
They included:

1. Mosquito repellant
2. Medicine for cough
3. Immunity booster
4. Alcohol sweetener
5. Libido enhancer and
6. Snake repellant.

Sadly before I could investigate further or confidently share the information, bitter kola became the cure for Ebola alongside bathing with salt in scalding hot water. Information to which my response was "Hian!"
While on the Ebola topic, take time out to visit this website: www.ebolafacts.com it actually does help to be informed and educated. The site explains what Ebola is, the symptoms of infection, how it is transmitted, discredits myths and lists basic prevention techniques. It is updated regularly and has an easy to follow interface. Kindly spread the word and eradicate ignorance where you can.

Finally if there is animal control in Port Harcourt city, I’d like to report a case of identity crises. For about 14 months or more, a goat that believes it is a dog has been terrorizing residents in the area. The goat’s manifestations include; chasing after cars, grunting menacingly at people/small dogs and attempting to bite humans. I am appealing to the concerned party to look into this matter.

In about a week or more, I will be ready to look into the bitter kola conspiracy once more. If you have alternate use of said item not listed already, kindly inform me. Until then, stay safe and informed.
Cheers!