4th's S8AVC April

Guess what people? 

It’s Friday! 

*in early Rihanna’s voice* “Turn the music up!!”

April has been well; a month of interesting occurrences.

For starters I met a couple of people who still write letters (complete with having customized stationery, stamp collections and really nice coloured pens #lifegoals), I realised I am now more tolerant of cats, have more female friends who are way taller than me and most of all, with all that’s happening and not, I STILL have faith in a better Nigeria.

A few years back, I mentioned fuel scarcity in one of the stories from my collection of short stories (Greenland, 2013) as a way of preserving a trend I believed was about to be a thing of history but as we all know, I was wrong.

While our ‘sister’ countries are hustling for renewable energy, decentralization of power supply and feeding tariffs, able bodied Nigerian men and women are participating in unholy trades, flexing muscles, gallons and kegs in the search of PMB!

Generally speaking, aside from having a face off with a man-child who implied that I was promoting promiscuity because I dared to put up a picture of a painting that celebrated African pride (it was of a fierce looking beautiful black skinned woman who was naked save for a neck piece and bangles that adorned her neck, wrists and ankles. She held her hunting spare and was accompanied by a Lion) as a result of his ignorance and narrow mindedness, there is no major news to rely.

Something different about this month’s Super 8AVC is that I listened to just the audio of the tracks before comparing my expectations for a music video with what was actually presented in the official music videos.

Without further ado, here is number…

8. Rizzla – Burnaboy

*MVE: as soon as I hit the play button for this track, it was “get up and dance” for me. With that in mind, if this song is true to its ‘message’, there would be loads of smoke filled hazy scenes with Burna holding a stimulant of sorts doing his trademark ‘haters can hate’ nodding head dance. 

*whispers* I think Burna needs a hug.

*OMV: he was high in the video! Him and a whole lot of people *laughing out loud* here is a classic example of why you should not do drugs people. 

Oh I was right about the other stuff too; he did consume a stimulant and there was the nodding head dance. The video is way better than what I expected though.

7. Standing Ovation – Tiwa Savage ft. Olamide

MVE: I expect to see a sergeant Tiwa in military style outfits looking badass with separate clips of Olamide mingling at a party or being the boss while hanging out with his ‘goons’ in an empty warehouse. With one of his goons holding a baseball bat maybe? 

OMV: although Tiwa was badass in all of her scenes, rather than wear military style outfits, she made casual and laid back clothes look super sexy and stylish. Olamide was neither at a party nor in a shady warehouse with his goons but mainly out in the open supporting Tiwa to create a beautiful song with a proudly Nigerian setting.

6. I Concur – Timaya ft. Don Jazzy

MVE: there would be a walking stick in this video. Location: Bayelsa maybe? A harem of colourfully dressed ladies shaking their ‘African waists’ with Don J. trying to look cool while awkwardly gyrating in the name of dancing. 

OMV: there is a keke that looks like it is being used to move house. That mattress has seen better days though. 

There were more men than women shaking their waist and things in this video *drools*. There appears to be elements of dance and clothing from various tribes in... Africa? 

My, doesn’t Timaya look real snazzy in this video?

Did Don Jazzy ‘dance’? Yes. Was there a long stick in this video? Yes, Timaya’s. Was the video amazing? Yes. 

Unto the next one.

5. Osinachi (remix) – Humblesmith ft. Davido

MVE:  this track has highlife elements sprinkled all over it. It seems to me like another song about God’s awesomeness slash an individual reaping the rewards of hard work. Like Godwin, I expect clips of different people triumphing over hardships. Sadly, there would be no ‘hungry belle’ dance moves from brother Korede in this one.

OMV: different from what I expected, it is just one occasion; a coronation of sorts. 

It pays homage to the culture and traditions from South East Nigeria. 

Rather than take centre stage, Humblesmith and Davido step out of focus occasionally to allow viewers enjoy the rich and vivid displays set before them.

4. Ferrari – Yemi Alade

MVE: driving into number 4 with highlife rhythms as well, is Yemi in a ferrari! This lady is sha not afraid to talk am as e dey do her. Her videos ooze with energy (I should find the original painting of that African woman and her lion and gift it to her). 

I expect to see bold hairdos, colourful outfits and some humorous clips.

OMV: Energy? Check! Bold hairdos? Check! Colourful outfits? Check! Humour? Yes of course!!

This track features Remi (from Gulder Ultimate Search) as Yemi’s love interest. Through time abi different societies, he tries to win her over with elaborate formings and panache but did omo babe gree to give the guy face? Don’t ask me, watch and see for yourself.

3. Dance – Flavour

MVE: as I listened to the first few seconds of this song, I had begun to sing Sir Uwaifo’s Joromi before uncle decided to get on with the singing. The music video might feature a story within a story and a live performance like the one in Golibe (mehn I still love this song. Someone please tell me what he is saying because I am sure Flavour wrote that song with me in mind)

OMV: wow! Apparently Flavour decided to make up for the lack of girls in Timaya’s ‘I Concur’ by being the only man in this music video. 

Sadly the lovely ladies were too busy being gorgeous while rocking to the music to inform that other nice lady that she was not wearing all of her black leather jacket. 

While I was disappointed that he did not get to flex his amazing pecs this time, he kept to the proudly Nigerian theme by having a greater number of his dancers decked in popular prints that were probably sewn in Nigeria.    

2. Guitar Boy – Sir Victor Uwaifo

MVE: listening to Dance by Flavour got me in the mood for some Osadebe and Uwaifo. Guitar boy takes me back to my teenage years. I can almost hear myself and Sisi singing this song quite loudly and out of tune. I had a chance to meet this living legend when he was in Ibadan on tour but missed the opportunity because I was busy chasing free suya and gizzard *hides head in shame*.

I doubt there is an official music video for this song.

            1. Tupepe – Sir Victor Uwaifo ft. 2Face Idibia

             MVE: *dancing* are we playing here? Free me make I dance!

             Wait, what were you expecting number 1 to be?

Will I dare to assign anything other than the first position to a Chief, Professor and Sir?

I don’t care about the video but if 2face doesn’t live up to his 2Baba title by making this video great, I intend to write a very long letter of complaint to someone.

OMV: I am afraid that writing, “I like it, I like, I like it a lot” will fail to pass the right message across. The official video matched the tone of the track; I can’t image a better blend.

You definitely have to watch it to the end to witness Sir Uwaifo drop the rest of his old school dance moves.

Bubbling Under. Reggae Blues – Harrysong ft. Olamide, Kcee, Orezi, Iyanya.

And just because I can, there is a number 9 today. *Screaming* “After the reggae play the blues” *folds shirtsleeves* dances* shoki, suwor oya etighi. “Dj, Dj! Give am belle!”

That was fun guys, let’s do this again soon!

Cheers!

** MVE: My Video Expectation

     OMV: Official Music Video

*** FYI the series “Spice Rack” would only be back by popular demand so to the few people who’ve asked about the rest of it, I’m sorry guys. If I don’t get enough feedback/comments/messages to proceed, Spice Rack would be publicly sentenced to a slow painful death.

From diaspora with love/ 4th's Super 8 AVC

Dear Mr. President,

*Kilode? 

Sincerely,

A concerned Nigerian.

To begin with, since I can remember I have loved my country and believe it would take a lot more than terrorism, austerity and malaise to change this truth. 
You see, as a young child while waiting for RSTV to start the day's transmission in the early 90’s, I read story books which in a way preserved Nigerian people and culture and on occasion, my grandmother's retold stories of the great hunter, farmer and the industrious trader. 
Then there was the ultimate treat ‘tales by moonlight!’ the lessons from this television program was that ‘good conquers evil’.

From past history of the Bini’s, Calabar’s and heroines of the North to name a few, I have learned that no matter how difficult things become, Nigerians will find a way to survive.

I noticed early signs of things to come in my senior year of secondary school when I tried to register for Nigerian History and was told the subject had been scrapped.

Question:

How can you plan a future when you have no lessons with experience from the past?

In the developed economies we are trying so hard to emulate, before any decision is made, they do something called an impact assessment. 
It is not magic.
They explore the possible impacts both negative and positive of any policy they intend to enact and make plans for mitigation or resolution of the potential conflicts BEFORE decisions are carried out. 
They are a government of the people, for the people and by the people. 
If we copy their, culture, their cuisine and political hierarchy, why then have we refused to copy their strategy? Is it because it could be a good thing?

Looking at fuel scarcity, the restriction of cash withdrawals abroad, oh and let's not forget the epileptic supply of power in the country. Do these issues characterize a government that thinks before it acts?

Once upon a time, we had national parks, game reserves and family picnics. The Nigerian industries manufactured products that could compete with international standards.

Before get rich schemes like dirty politics, twerking and oil monopoly became popular, our economy survived on agriculture, industry and surprise - surprise; innovation!

Do you remember?

Oh my bad. You probably don’t because the sources of Nigerian history these days are badly written Nollywood scripts!

I decided to further my education in hopes of contributing towards the survival of the Nigerian economy but as a result of restricted access to my humble savings back in the fatherland thanks to the government of change which has not put measures in place to protect their "beloved citizens" in diaspora , I considered giving up and returning home to join the unemployed disgruntled masses. 
However last night while plotting what would be the concluding course of the journey I came across a song. 

It gave me hope and reminded me that Nigerian’s are fighters.

I am now back to believing!

I know my roots and I am proud of where I come from. 
Although we are faced with the problem of terrorism, austerity and malaise Nigerians are resilient, I would survive.

The songs below would either make you want to leave the one you are with and start a new relationship with erm, I don’t know or take you to a time when Nigerians were people that asked ‘what can I do for my country’ rather than ‘what can my country do for me’ listen, enjoy, share, celebrate!

8.    Super God – Gbemi Jorge

Beginning this countdown is the uplifting song ‘Super God’. The lyrics of the song are like a prayer from the heart straight to God’s ear. I can’t write exactly how liberating this song is. The best way to understand is to listen by hitting the download link Super God-Gbemi Jorge

7.     Ogene – Zoro ft. Flavor

Warning this song would cause you to move, dance… gyrate! I honestly don’t know what he is saying and do hope someone is kind enough to interpret but the way the words blend with the instrumentals is really something beautiful. Hit the link to listen Ogene-Zoro ft Flavor 

6.     Open and Close – Simi

Open and close could be described as the musical interpretation of the slang “Warri no dey carry last”.  Simi combines nostalgic phrases with relatable responses to real life situations to create a track that is fun, humorous and fast paced.

5.     Get it Together – Tiwa Savage, Paul PSquare

Done in collaboration with the Nigerian Urban Reproductive Health   Initiative (NURHI). This track in essence extols the virtues of proper planning before action especially in the case of sexual activity and parenthood, a procedure I am afraid is lost on the decision makers in our country.

4.     Love Nwantiti – Da Roc

Closely following the advice of planned parenthood by Tiwa and Paul is this song by Da Roc singing out his heart for the sake of love. Love Nwantinti - Da Roc

3.     Love don’t care – Simi

There is something about this artist's voice that keeps me coming back for more. I thought it was a one time thing when I could not get enough of 'Jamb Question' I guess I was wrong. In ‘Love don’t care’ she basically reiterates the known fact that when it comes to matters of the heart, logic and reasoning have no place; “the heart wants what the heart wants”.  

2.     All I want is you – Banky W. & Chidinma 

This song is my ringtone, message alert, morning alarm and reminder notification. I enjoy it so much that I compiled an 8-track playlist and put the song in slot’s one through to eight. The audio features the unmistakable voices of Onyeka Owenu as well as Zack Orji with the video following the story of young love and happy endings. The song has Rhythm, Melody and Texture and really should have been my number one.

1.     Mama Oyoyo – Yemi Alade, Olamide, Tyrion Lannister Iyanya, Tekno, Selebobo.
      This track combines the talent of various artists and once more celebrates strength in diversity, although this song carries on for a bit and gets a bit tiring towards the end it is my number 1 in this countdown not because of the engaging instrumentals or the rich cultural flavor but simply because it is in honor of mother's and well, my mum rocks!

* Kilode is a Yoruba for  ‘what is it'/'what is the matter?’

Spice Rack: Cassia

PREFACE

Spice Rack is a story series prepared with a mixture of six spicy characters – Cinnamon (Sin), Chili (Lilian), Cumin (Morayo), Cassia, Curry (Ray) and Celery (Lera). Although the persons on the cover picture are real, the stories are in no way about them. Spice rack is a work of fiction and bares no resemblance to persons either living or dead. I hope you enjoy reading each serving as much as I enjoyed cooking them up. Feel free to participate. Leave a comment or share an opinion - Sketch

Cassia

“We are slowly coming to the end of today’s edition of Why? What? Wednesday. Today’s discussion was ‘why women cheat’ and as usual you guys didn't fall my hand! The lines have been crazy busy with so much calls and text messages that I’m like muaah! Muah! Muaah!” she made smacking noises while she blew out air kisses. “in short unna too much!" She scrolled through the notes she had been making during the program. "While Ete from Somolu say’s it’s because husbands don’t give their wives attention, Joan from Ajah says women do it because they know their husbands are busy with another woman.” She placed the finger of her left hand underneath her headset and tugged slightly on her earlobe. “Guys listening in, I know you can’t see me but I am pulling my ears for you. Pay attention to your wives oh and stop playing for the other team oh or else!” she clapped her palms and made a hand washing gesture.
After scrolling through the screen on the monitor beside her, she resumed talking.
“While Hauwa from Mile-Two say’s some women's 'censored word' are under demonic possession and need the hand of God, Latifa from Ogba say’s some women are so broken inside that they look for quick fixes in the arms of several men. While I am neither a pastor nor a psychologist, my own is that you do unto others what you would like to be done unto you and whatever game you choose to play you should play it safe. HIV is real yo! Not to talk of so many other sexually transmitted diseases.”
Her director made a signal for her to round up.
She nodded and continued to talk. “I see the phone flashing guys and I am so sorry. Although I am having so much fun as always only have time for a final call before we call it a day.” She leaned forward to hit a button, after a slight hesitation, the caller began to drawl. “Kaysiya I just called to say that I love you, You are a fine geh, a sexy geh, I mustu marry you. I listened to this song by one really hot artist Crucificxo. Although he is not as buriful as you, he made me think of you. Can you play the song for me? The name of the song is-” without missing a beat Cassia interrupted the caller. “Thank you for that ma. While I am flattered that you called to profess your love to me, this is neither a request show nor hook up program. Dj A-jax and Ogechi will be on air from six-thirty pm tonight to take all your requests and shout outs.” She disconnected the call.
“With that interesting call from my latest lover,” she paused to make a bunny quote with her finger. “We’ve come to the end of Why? What? Wednesday. Until next week, it’s been your girl Cassia keeping it real with you. Message me on twitter and Facebook with your comments and questions and I'd message you right back. I love you guys, buh-bye!”
When her director gave her a thumbs up sign, she took off her headset and walked out of the boot.
Going to her locker, she reached for her bag, pulled out her phone and dialled a number.
When she was connected she muttered loudly. “Sin you are just an arsewipe! Love ni love kor?” She held away the phone from her ear to avoid the deafening peals of laughter from the other end of the line.
She asked how she knew it was her voice. “Why wouldn’t I recognize your voice? How long have I known you - you this useless child? Besides you are the only one I hear ranting about this Crucificxo guy. You think I don’t know his picture is the screensaver on your phone?” She rolled her eyes as Sin began her litany and praise of the musician. When she paused to catch her breath, Cassia interjected. “Ehen! I wanted to ask you about Lilian, Ray called me last night she said-.” She was distracted by her colleague who was making hand gestures she could not comprehend.
She shook her head signalling that she did not understand that he was trying to say and rose two fingers meaning he should give her sometime to be done with her call.
He nodded and walked away.
“Sin I’d call you back, have to attend to someone.” She disconnected the call and returned her phone to her bag, Making a beeline for the toilet, she shut the door behind her, got out her toiletry case and tried to freshen up. When she was done, she left the toilet and went in search of him. She did not find him.
Disappointed, she got out a pack of cigarette from her bag, took out a stick and lighter put them in her pocket and made her way to the back of the building.
She put the stick in her mouth and was about lighting it up when he materialized from the shadows and grabbed the stick of cigarette from her mouth.
She yelped in surprise. “Shit Imoh you scared me!” He kissed her. “I’m sorry about that.” She pushed him away and looked around to make certain no one was watching. “Don’t do that again.” He held her waist and pulled her into an intimate embrace making her aware of his need. “Come home with me tonight, I have something more satisfying than nicotine for you.” His smile was infectious she returned it and eased out of his embrace. “You sir are the smoothest talker on planet earth.”
She pulled out a bunch of keys which included his car keys from the belt loop of his jeans and wove them in his face. “I am driving.”

Imoh rolled over and turned towards her a look of worry lining his face. “Cassia we need to talk.” A feeling of anxiety came over her she placed the fingers of her right hand lightly over her chest. “Imoh are you breaking up with me? Right now? Just after we've-” she reached for the nearest piece of clothing and pulled it over her head; it was his shirt. She swore. “Shit.”
Not taking his eyes off her, he blindly reached for something on his night stand, grabbed an envelope and handed it to her before getting up from the bed.
With shaking fingers Cassia accepted the envelope. “You are breaking up with me and can’t even say it to my face?” She began cursing as she struggled to open the envelope curious to see what was within.
She started calculating how fast she could get dressed and leave his place. If Ray would be able to come pick her or if flagging down a cab would be faster. She did not want to start crying or getting emotional in front of him but wanted to know what was in the bloody envelope.
They were both mature adults and started this affair with the intention of not making any commitments. She did not consider the possibility of falling for him or how crushed she was feeling right now.
When she opened the envelope, there was a piece of paper folded inside.
She picked out the piece of paper, let the envelope drop to the bed and unfolded the paper with both hands.
It revealed a handwritten note which read; ‘psst look at me’ confused, she drew her gaze away from the note and noticed him kneeling in front of her holding up an engagement ring with a sly smile across his face.
“What do you say? Yes? No? Maybe?” she covered her mouth with her left palm and massaged her lips with her fingers at the same time fighting the urge to smile and cry. She cleared her throat and feigned disinterest.
“Is this because you want to be kissing me in public?” He cocked an eyebrow. “ Well actually, the station manager put me up to it. He figured out what we were up to ages ago, pointed out that your wife material was high quality and threatened to introduce you to his brother if I didn't put a ring on it." Beginning to feel uncomfortable from the pressure of the weight of his body on one knee he stopped smiling and looked at her. "Cassia how far na? I’m kneeling in my birthday suit with my heart in the palm of your hands help a brother out.” She smiled wickedly and held her left hand out to him nodding and wriggling her fingers. “I kindda liked the view.” He slipped on the ring and got up.
Picking up her phone, handing it to her and waiting while she took pictures of the ring on her finger, he pulled on his briefs and sat beside her. “Are you going to call your mum?” She shook her head. “Not now. I’m calling my sistaz! It’s too bad I can’t take you with me for D-day. You are quite a catch.”
She got out of bed and admired the ring as it caught the light glittered.
She had an amazing job, just got engaged to a man she was in love with and was going to spend the weekend with her best friends. Life was good!

*

*

* Ps: unlike the Characters in this story, Crucificxo is real. Aside from being a 6ft tall delicious serving of handsomeness and charisma he actually knows how to ‘spit’. I’m presently stalking following him on twitter and believe he is the real deal.
Here is the download link for ‘Living my life’ my present favourite track Livin my life - Crucificxo have a listen and tell me what you think! (about the song and not his body)