The Cockroach Letter

A cockroach letter is a standard bulls**t letter sent by a company/service provider to a customer in response to a letter of complaint/evidently dissatisfied customer when the body of said letter meets certain criteria.

Today I was reminded of an incidence from 2009 between me and my bank when I got a mail that didn't concern me (or so I thought) from them.

I had often heard people talk about cockroach letter and did not think much of it until (and to my surprise) when for all my effort and after the stress they put me through, the bank sent me said letter and (would you believe it?) a complimentary pen! Like I was supposed to write away my hurt.

I was too weak with disbelief to do anything then; I mean who gets a pen after being defrauded?

So today, when I got the unnecessary email from them and saw their reply I looked up Cockroach letter and discovered a funny story which I'd share next.

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This guy on an aeroplane noticed a cockroach in the aisle. On arriving at his destination, he fires off a letter to the president of the airline, pointing out that roaches thrive where there’s filth, and that he expected better things of the airline company.

Within a few days (this is in the days when one posted letters) he got a letter in response, deploring the roach incident, saying that they had never heard of such an incident before and that if he produced the letter he could get an upgrade to first class next time. In addition the plane and its hangar had been fumigated and that the maintenance crew had been disciplined, and in closing, Thanked him for bringing this nasty situation to their attention!

For months he told his colleagues and friends about this fantastic service, attention to detail and how the passengers of this airline meant so much to them. 

Then one day he hauled out the letter to show a friend, and a post-it note that had been stuck to the inside of the envelope drifted to the floor. He picked it up and read in absolute shock - it said: Grecian - send this idiot the standard cockroach letter

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My bank asked me to send the transaction date and my account number which thanks to my penchant for taking pictures every other day I was able to provide. I am quite curious as to how this will play out...
a). Would they refund my money after 5 years?
b). Will they still insist I arranged to have myself robbed?
c). Will they send me another Cockroach letter?

Have you ever received a Cockroach letter from a service provider?
How did you react?