This one go sweet

The first time I laid eyes on Mercy Johnson, I couldn't help but fall in love. 

It was around 2007/2008 before the age of selfies and #teamLightSkinned at the premier of ‘Ebuwa’ an English subtitled film in Edo language. 

With a lot of Imasuen’s in the production credits, the movie was about a mother’s greed, a daughter’s innocence and HIV (good movie by the way).

I somehow happened to get myself invited to the invitation only premier and was looking forward to mingling with the stars and maybe nabbing a celebrity boyfriend or two. 

I arrived at the cultural centre looking super fly, got infected by the high energy atmosphere and was just about ready to mingle when my wandering eyes flirted and settled in the direction of… my parents! 

Apparently they happened to find time to leave their busy schedules, travel all the way to Edo state to attend the event without even bothering to inform me.

My first thought when I saw them was to pretend I did not see them and leave the arena but from where I stood, watching my dad get star struck after Liz Benson shook his hands and seeing him get all excited over spotting more of his favourite artists I decided what ever ‘rep’ I had would be safer if I stayed behind to keep an eye on him.

Before the movie started, we were introduced to this brand new talent the guys were proud to present. She had ambition, passion and drive, they were certain she would take Nollywood by storm. 

When she got up for recognition, I was taken aback. 

She was not what I expected to see. 

She looked different, acted different and had this naïve shy smile that I hope to encounter again one day soon. 

They however said she held promise I can’t deny that till date, the lady still makes an effort to keep the promise.

What sealed this day in my memory was the conversation I witnessed in the tour bus (apparently, hanging out with my folks had its perks). 

It was between two veteran actresses. 

Since I can’t recall their names at the moment, I’d call them Cut and Sew. 

They were discussing about a movie and I honestly hope that is not how Nigerian movies are made.

The conversation went something like –

Cut: eh, Sew why Arinze no follow Patri come this thing from Lag?

Sew: I no know but e be like say im follow for that tragic accident for Lagos – Benin express road

Cut: ah! That’s serious oh, make I recharge phone call am.

Sew: meanwhile, Lucky don tell you say im wan shoot movie with me, you and Amanda? Me and Amanda go be sisters, you go come be our mama. E don tey since we do movie together oh, this one go sweet oh, how you see am?

Cut: na true oh, ah imagine say Arinze come be the bobo come make the whole thing blend. The thing go pure well!

Sew: you are so right. Make I call Lucky now. I go tell am if Arinze no dey the film me I no go follow…

Till date, I don’t know if the movie was ever produced or if ‘Arinze’ even survived the alleged tragic road accident. What amazed me was the faith these women had in the success of the movie without even knowing the fate of the man they had cast for the role of the leading man.

It is the same amazement I feel when I come across a new policy/regulation from the decision makers in the big A. 

The way they come up with this things without ensuring there are measures in place to facilitate the success of the policy leads me to believe they dream up these ‘bright ideas’ while seated in a tour bus of sorts after a couple of drinks or more.

I mean, how on earth do we patronise Nigerian made products when we do not have the Energy (electricity and fuel) to produce Nigerian made goods? 

So after the legislative parents looked away for so long while the ‘child economy’ played in other peoples ‘neat and tidy rooms’ letting his room that was once a liveable chamber turn to a sanctuary for rot and decay, do they think suddenly dragging that child away from the influence of the foreign friends by the ears and locking him in the room will fix the problem? 

For starters, to make that room liveable again, if you must, lock that child up with a mop, a broom and a bucket! If possible teach the child to clean.

In the news I hear Nigeria is the place to be and I'm like "for real?" Is it the same country that has so much human and natural resource and yet is unable to give the average citizen access to municipal drinking water, electric power supply or fuel? 

As we are such a happy nation, I am guessing we are expected to embrace the big picture, use ingredients pulled out of the bottom of the fictional chief priest's calabash to create the change while clutching our empty bellies and smiling in hunger.

Aha! I remember how I got invited to the event now.

72 hours and counting...

4th's S8AVC April

Guess what people? 

It’s Friday! 

*in early Rihanna’s voice* “Turn the music up!!”

April has been well; a month of interesting occurrences.

For starters I met a couple of people who still write letters (complete with having customized stationery, stamp collections and really nice coloured pens #lifegoals), I realised I am now more tolerant of cats, have more female friends who are way taller than me and most of all, with all that’s happening and not, I STILL have faith in a better Nigeria.

A few years back, I mentioned fuel scarcity in one of the stories from my collection of short stories (Greenland, 2013) as a way of preserving a trend I believed was about to be a thing of history but as we all know, I was wrong.

While our ‘sister’ countries are hustling for renewable energy, decentralization of power supply and feeding tariffs, able bodied Nigerian men and women are participating in unholy trades, flexing muscles, gallons and kegs in the search of PMB!

Generally speaking, aside from having a face off with a man-child who implied that I was promoting promiscuity because I dared to put up a picture of a painting that celebrated African pride (it was of a fierce looking beautiful black skinned woman who was naked save for a neck piece and bangles that adorned her neck, wrists and ankles. She held her hunting spare and was accompanied by a Lion) as a result of his ignorance and narrow mindedness, there is no major news to rely.

Something different about this month’s Super 8AVC is that I listened to just the audio of the tracks before comparing my expectations for a music video with what was actually presented in the official music videos.

Without further ado, here is number…

8. Rizzla – Burnaboy

*MVE: as soon as I hit the play button for this track, it was “get up and dance” for me. With that in mind, if this song is true to its ‘message’, there would be loads of smoke filled hazy scenes with Burna holding a stimulant of sorts doing his trademark ‘haters can hate’ nodding head dance. 

*whispers* I think Burna needs a hug.

*OMV: he was high in the video! Him and a whole lot of people *laughing out loud* here is a classic example of why you should not do drugs people. 

Oh I was right about the other stuff too; he did consume a stimulant and there was the nodding head dance. The video is way better than what I expected though.

7. Standing Ovation – Tiwa Savage ft. Olamide

MVE: I expect to see a sergeant Tiwa in military style outfits looking badass with separate clips of Olamide mingling at a party or being the boss while hanging out with his ‘goons’ in an empty warehouse. With one of his goons holding a baseball bat maybe? 

OMV: although Tiwa was badass in all of her scenes, rather than wear military style outfits, she made casual and laid back clothes look super sexy and stylish. Olamide was neither at a party nor in a shady warehouse with his goons but mainly out in the open supporting Tiwa to create a beautiful song with a proudly Nigerian setting.

6. I Concur – Timaya ft. Don Jazzy

MVE: there would be a walking stick in this video. Location: Bayelsa maybe? A harem of colourfully dressed ladies shaking their ‘African waists’ with Don J. trying to look cool while awkwardly gyrating in the name of dancing. 

OMV: there is a keke that looks like it is being used to move house. That mattress has seen better days though. 

There were more men than women shaking their waist and things in this video *drools*. There appears to be elements of dance and clothing from various tribes in... Africa? 

My, doesn’t Timaya look real snazzy in this video?

Did Don Jazzy ‘dance’? Yes. Was there a long stick in this video? Yes, Timaya’s. Was the video amazing? Yes. 

Unto the next one.

5. Osinachi (remix) – Humblesmith ft. Davido

MVE:  this track has highlife elements sprinkled all over it. It seems to me like another song about God’s awesomeness slash an individual reaping the rewards of hard work. Like Godwin, I expect clips of different people triumphing over hardships. Sadly, there would be no ‘hungry belle’ dance moves from brother Korede in this one.

OMV: different from what I expected, it is just one occasion; a coronation of sorts. 

It pays homage to the culture and traditions from South East Nigeria. 

Rather than take centre stage, Humblesmith and Davido step out of focus occasionally to allow viewers enjoy the rich and vivid displays set before them.

4. Ferrari – Yemi Alade

MVE: driving into number 4 with highlife rhythms as well, is Yemi in a ferrari! This lady is sha not afraid to talk am as e dey do her. Her videos ooze with energy (I should find the original painting of that African woman and her lion and gift it to her). 

I expect to see bold hairdos, colourful outfits and some humorous clips.

OMV: Energy? Check! Bold hairdos? Check! Colourful outfits? Check! Humour? Yes of course!!

This track features Remi (from Gulder Ultimate Search) as Yemi’s love interest. Through time abi different societies, he tries to win her over with elaborate formings and panache but did omo babe gree to give the guy face? Don’t ask me, watch and see for yourself.

3. Dance – Flavour

MVE: as I listened to the first few seconds of this song, I had begun to sing Sir Uwaifo’s Joromi before uncle decided to get on with the singing. The music video might feature a story within a story and a live performance like the one in Golibe (mehn I still love this song. Someone please tell me what he is saying because I am sure Flavour wrote that song with me in mind)

OMV: wow! Apparently Flavour decided to make up for the lack of girls in Timaya’s ‘I Concur’ by being the only man in this music video. 

Sadly the lovely ladies were too busy being gorgeous while rocking to the music to inform that other nice lady that she was not wearing all of her black leather jacket. 

While I was disappointed that he did not get to flex his amazing pecs this time, he kept to the proudly Nigerian theme by having a greater number of his dancers decked in popular prints that were probably sewn in Nigeria.    

2. Guitar Boy – Sir Victor Uwaifo

MVE: listening to Dance by Flavour got me in the mood for some Osadebe and Uwaifo. Guitar boy takes me back to my teenage years. I can almost hear myself and Sisi singing this song quite loudly and out of tune. I had a chance to meet this living legend when he was in Ibadan on tour but missed the opportunity because I was busy chasing free suya and gizzard *hides head in shame*.

I doubt there is an official music video for this song.

            1. Tupepe – Sir Victor Uwaifo ft. 2Face Idibia

             MVE: *dancing* are we playing here? Free me make I dance!

             Wait, what were you expecting number 1 to be?

Will I dare to assign anything other than the first position to a Chief, Professor and Sir?

I don’t care about the video but if 2face doesn’t live up to his 2Baba title by making this video great, I intend to write a very long letter of complaint to someone.

OMV: I am afraid that writing, “I like it, I like, I like it a lot” will fail to pass the right message across. The official video matched the tone of the track; I can’t image a better blend.

You definitely have to watch it to the end to witness Sir Uwaifo drop the rest of his old school dance moves.

Bubbling Under. Reggae Blues – Harrysong ft. Olamide, Kcee, Orezi, Iyanya.

And just because I can, there is a number 9 today. *Screaming* “After the reggae play the blues” *folds shirtsleeves* dances* shoki, suwor oya etighi. “Dj, Dj! Give am belle!”

That was fun guys, let’s do this again soon!

Cheers!

** MVE: My Video Expectation

     OMV: Official Music Video

*** FYI the series “Spice Rack” would only be back by popular demand so to the few people who’ve asked about the rest of it, I’m sorry guys. If I don’t get enough feedback/comments/messages to proceed, Spice Rack would be publicly sentenced to a slow painful death.