This one go sweet

The first time I laid eyes on Mercy Johnson, I couldn't help but fall in love. 

It was around 2007/2008 before the age of selfies and #teamLightSkinned at the premier of ‘Ebuwa’ an English subtitled film in Edo language. 

With a lot of Imasuen’s in the production credits, the movie was about a mother’s greed, a daughter’s innocence and HIV (good movie by the way).

I somehow happened to get myself invited to the invitation only premier and was looking forward to mingling with the stars and maybe nabbing a celebrity boyfriend or two. 

I arrived at the cultural centre looking super fly, got infected by the high energy atmosphere and was just about ready to mingle when my wandering eyes flirted and settled in the direction of… my parents! 

Apparently they happened to find time to leave their busy schedules, travel all the way to Edo state to attend the event without even bothering to inform me.

My first thought when I saw them was to pretend I did not see them and leave the arena but from where I stood, watching my dad get star struck after Liz Benson shook his hands and seeing him get all excited over spotting more of his favourite artists I decided what ever ‘rep’ I had would be safer if I stayed behind to keep an eye on him.

Before the movie started, we were introduced to this brand new talent the guys were proud to present. She had ambition, passion and drive, they were certain she would take Nollywood by storm. 

When she got up for recognition, I was taken aback. 

She was not what I expected to see. 

She looked different, acted different and had this naïve shy smile that I hope to encounter again one day soon. 

They however said she held promise I can’t deny that till date, the lady still makes an effort to keep the promise.

What sealed this day in my memory was the conversation I witnessed in the tour bus (apparently, hanging out with my folks had its perks). 

It was between two veteran actresses. 

Since I can’t recall their names at the moment, I’d call them Cut and Sew. 

They were discussing about a movie and I honestly hope that is not how Nigerian movies are made.

The conversation went something like –

Cut: eh, Sew why Arinze no follow Patri come this thing from Lag?

Sew: I no know but e be like say im follow for that tragic accident for Lagos – Benin express road

Cut: ah! That’s serious oh, make I recharge phone call am.

Sew: meanwhile, Lucky don tell you say im wan shoot movie with me, you and Amanda? Me and Amanda go be sisters, you go come be our mama. E don tey since we do movie together oh, this one go sweet oh, how you see am?

Cut: na true oh, ah imagine say Arinze come be the bobo come make the whole thing blend. The thing go pure well!

Sew: you are so right. Make I call Lucky now. I go tell am if Arinze no dey the film me I no go follow…

Till date, I don’t know if the movie was ever produced or if ‘Arinze’ even survived the alleged tragic road accident. What amazed me was the faith these women had in the success of the movie without even knowing the fate of the man they had cast for the role of the leading man.

It is the same amazement I feel when I come across a new policy/regulation from the decision makers in the big A. 

The way they come up with this things without ensuring there are measures in place to facilitate the success of the policy leads me to believe they dream up these ‘bright ideas’ while seated in a tour bus of sorts after a couple of drinks or more.

I mean, how on earth do we patronise Nigerian made products when we do not have the Energy (electricity and fuel) to produce Nigerian made goods? 

So after the legislative parents looked away for so long while the ‘child economy’ played in other peoples ‘neat and tidy rooms’ letting his room that was once a liveable chamber turn to a sanctuary for rot and decay, do they think suddenly dragging that child away from the influence of the foreign friends by the ears and locking him in the room will fix the problem? 

For starters, to make that room liveable again, if you must, lock that child up with a mop, a broom and a bucket! If possible teach the child to clean.

In the news I hear Nigeria is the place to be and I'm like "for real?" Is it the same country that has so much human and natural resource and yet is unable to give the average citizen access to municipal drinking water, electric power supply or fuel? 

As we are such a happy nation, I am guessing we are expected to embrace the big picture, use ingredients pulled out of the bottom of the fictional chief priest's calabash to create the change while clutching our empty bellies and smiling in hunger.

Aha! I remember how I got invited to the event now.

72 hours and counting...