Throwback Thursday

I woke up feeling rather disoriented by the sound of a man singing “Ello Bae” and some other lines in a serious H-Factored voice. It took a while for me to realize I had accidentally set Falz’s Ello Bae as my alarm ringtone during my sleep induced battle with my mobile phone the night before.

I know I have admitted to having a H-Crush on Falz the Badt guy but when I begin to say things like “ Ello, I hate the bread you left over there, it tasted funny in my mat. His heat still good?” I take it as a sign to 'lean back' and draw the line.

Today’s throwback comes from a day in Two Thousand and Thirteen.

Myself, Amanda and Bumi got together and had one of the craziest, hilariously fun days of my one year sojourn in Ibadan, Oyo state.

The saga began some days earlier when during Community Development Service (CDS) we decided that since a grand tour of the state was not in the portfolio of the mandatory National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), we were going to go exploring on our own.

After choosing Trans Amusement Park as the venue, we started counting up to the D-day.

On getting to the location, I was a little disheartened when I saw the facility, which looked like it must have really been something in its heyday, was now a bit run down.

Not wanting to give in to disappointment, we made the best of what was functional.
By the time we were through exfoliating our butts on the ill maintained slides, willing the Ferris wheel to move and riding the carousel horses that wouldn’t neigh, we were all chuckles and shrieks.

As luck would have it, the rail trains were working so we paid for a turn.
Amanda’s antics (which included shouting “Ajegule! Ajegunle! Next stop “ at the top of her voice like a Lagos bus conductor got the operator in such a good mood that he gave us another ride for free!

We were initially going to end the day by having a go on the swing ride while hoping they didn’t disconnect and break when I noticed a canopy being set up.
We decided then that we were going to gate crash whatever activity it was that they were preparing for and were plotting our game plan when a sole male human dressed in white native attire and a black fila wandered into our midst.
The three of us began talking simultaneously. We spat so many incredible tales that I’m not quite sure which one we stuck to eventually.

In the end, it happened that it was a burial remembrance ceremony we succeeded in gatecrashing. (Free food, yeay!)

It was an upbeat party.
There was highlife music, assorted delicacies and Fayrouz!!
Every now and then, we stood up to embrace a "distant relative" and waved at clueless bystanders who looked a bit familiar.
After mingling with other 'invited guests', the celebrants, and posing for pictures, we opted for a change of scenery and relocated to a trending ice-cream parlor.
The nice team members ignored us while we jumped from seat to seat taking pictures and gorging on ice cream and wafers.
Finished with our sugar rush, we sat by the window and started “man watching”.

Not satisfied with just staring, we tore off pieces of paper and decided to vote on which of the male patrons was the ‘fairest of them all’.
I am pretty sure one or more of the male patrons must have been a tad disconcerted by the scrutinizing looks we gave to them.

After much deliberation and giggling we came up with the 3 finalist and decided it was only fair to let these complete strangers who came out on their own to relax and have fun with their family and friends know that they had been judged and found acceptable.

We proceeded to relay this news.

Our finalist were all bewilderment, smiles and good sports (off course they'd be, cute guys are born that way!)

We took a couple of pictures with our winners, packed up our bits and bobs and called it a day.

I enjoyed my service year.
I ceased the opportunity to celebrate the cultural diversity of Nigeria.
I discovered food recipes, acquired new skills and dropped a few habits.
I had misadventures, epiphanies and made friends that I am still in contact with to date.
Every day of the initial 3 weeks at Iseyin camp brought something exciting different.
Considering the good, the bad and the what-happens-in-Ibadan-stays-in-Ibadan, I can boldly admit that my experience of NYSC was quite close to the original idea.
I believe there is A LOT of room for improvement but No I do not think that NYSC should be scrapped.

For Amanda and Bumi: hey you guys! Thanks for the memories!!

Because I Said So!

Having a cold shower early in the wickedly cold morning is not funny.
Not funnier is finding out (after the wickedly cold shower) you left your towel in the other room because you first of all (*do not go down low) dropped it when you quickly threw on a shirt to answer the door for your over zealous trash collector and then later became so much in a hurry to make it a little earlier than late to work that you ran to the bathroom almost immediately and braved the ice cold water.
Running naked with water dripping down your back might look sexy, appealing and hot in the movies but in real life, it is *@#**ed! (pardon my french).

Then there is Daniel!
Daniel is a rambunctious 13 year old from Imo state, Nigeria.
He made me speechless for all of 20 seconds when he told me point blank that a woman's place is in the kitchen.
When I had my wits about me, I got up from my perch, pulled out a seat for him and invited him to parley with me.
Further discussions revealed his mother as the source for his convictions.
She told him that in the kitchen lies a woman's power, that if the husband were to take that from her, she would be powerless.
So basically, my 7 years in the university was a complete waste of time as my life ambition ought to be dreaming of the day when that special man would take me into his house to lord over his pots, pan and silverware.
Daniel can make a sandwich, does not like beans and wants to be a lawyer when he grows up.

Yesterday, when I got in late and was asked why, I said under my breath that it was because there was juju on the road.
Today, I stopped by said juju and took a picture of it

Tied around a stick are pieces of red cloth, snail shells and a very short broom.
I do not know if the snail is still in its shell or out with friends but examining a dangling snail on a lonely bush path did not seem like such a good idea at the time.
It appears that putting a nice friendly signpost with a "do not disturb" does not quite work for everyone.

The thought of Friday scares and excites me because I plan on doing something very (very) naughty.
It involves fluids, flashes and latex.
I am curious as to whether I'd do it or chicken out last minute.
What do you think?

Yeah since I mentioned it and cant now seem to get the song out of my head, here's Olamide!

He did his own version of azonto with the song "First of all" - freestyle. The track gets me every time. Heck get down low if you want to!!

- Oseyi