Jangolova (Part IV)

Isioma looked away and focused her gaze on nothing in particular. She reflected on her life; she thought about her husband Martin and her inability to love him no matter how hard she tried, the child she hardly acknowledged and the hole inside her soul that threatened to swallow her up. Doctor Kasim was right, she was depressed.
Still looking away, she closed her eyes in a bid to halt the surge of memories crowding her head and spoke in a pained undertone. “I made three wishes. The first was for anything that would or could remind of Sesan, lead me to him or make our paths collide to be wiped from existence. The second was to meet a man who will cherish, love and respect me the way I deserved and the third was for - ” She stopped speaking.
Opening her eyes, she darted a glance at Sesan and declared with venom. “ The third was for you to not have children by any other woman but me. Which meant never.” Ivie sat up and snapped her fingers in recollection. “You kept calling her mami! She was a young girl, about fifteen or sixteen. She gave you something, a broom or twig.” She made an impatient gesture and continued. “It was tiny. I remember her telling you to make four wishes.” She stopped talking and began counting her fingers while murmuring under her breath when she was done, she arched an eyebrow and looked quizzically at her. “It is three. You only made three wishes. Why?” Isioma blinked and used the back of her left palm to rub at the tears that had been slowly rolling down her cheeks. She wailed defensively. “I was distraught, I felt betrayed, I wasn’t thinking. I had forgotten about the stick until the day I lost my baby. I returned from the hospital alone and hurting. It took a while for me to find it, I honestly didn’t think it would work. I just needed something, something to believe in.” It occurred to her that she was rambling. She stopped talking and made an attempt to gather her thoughts. Wiping away more tears from her eyes, she linked her fingers together and rose her elbows to rest on the tabletop. Leaning her forehead on the ball of her hands, she cleared her throat and spoke mechanically. “Ninth June 2004, I went to Sesan’s house to tell him about the baby. I had kept it a secret for close to three months and figured it was time to come clean. NYSC coordinators from head office decided to pay a surprise visit to my place of primary assignment so I couldn’t leave early. After work, I went to a store and got a bottle of wine. We usually didn’t see during the week but since I knew he was home, I decided I’d go to his place without calling first.” Ivie interrupted her. “Isioma you swore to me you were through with Sesan!” She winced at her stricken tone and dropped her hands. She turned to her. “I lied to you about breaking up with him, I am sorry. You were preoccupied with your visa application and plans for school, it was easy to hide the relationship from you. I knew he was seeing someone else but I refused to believe he did not love me.” She blinked away the tears gathering in her eyes, determined to hold them at bay and resumed her drone. “On getting to Sesan’s place, I tried to open the door with my spare key but it was locked from within which was unusual. Alarmed, I banged at the door in apprehension. After a while, he came to the door. I watched the blood drain from his face when he realized it was me. Confused, I was about to ask what was wrong when a lady wearing my shorts and nothing else came out of his bedroom with a feather in her hand. I remember the sound of the breaking glass ringing in my ears as the bottle of wine I was holding slipped from my hand and fell to the floor. I ran blindly away from him and the house stifling the urge to pull at my hair and break down in tears. I knew the lady with the feather. She wasn’t his girlfriend but the bank manager who helped him with the loan he used to start his haulage and transport company. He always went on about how good she was to him, rushed to pick her calls and even suggested I send my CV to her.” She chuckled wryly. “ It never occurred to me he meant otherwise. I kept running until I was stopped. Stopped by a man struggling to choose between driving headfirst into a terrible porthole and hitting a careless ‘okada’ rider. He decided that hitting a girl who ran into the road without first checking was the lesser evil. When I came to, my right arm was in a cast and my baby gone. Something died inside me. It turned out Sesan was considerate enough to leave the ‘nice lady’ behind and rush me to the hospital. They didn’t tell him about the baby. I didn’t either. He wanted to take me home but I didn’t want him near. Safe at home, I let myself weep. It was then I remembered the Joss stick.”

Ivie shifted closer to Isioma and wrapped her arms protectively around her. “My poor baby.” She patted her back in consolation, aching for her and the loss she felt. “ Isioma you were my best friend, how could I forget you? I remember now. My parents were having issues, one Susana lady was trying to break them apart but the two of us were working together to get to the bottom of the issue and settle it. After gaining admission for my postgraduate certificate, I was denied visa. You advised me to defer my admission to fall semester and apply again. You were going to get your elder sister to assist me with some documents as well and we were working towards mid June. One morning, I woke up and did not remember why I needed to try. I did not seem to care about anything again. I sat back and watched while my father left my mother for Susana, mother change from the loving boisterous person I knew to a bitter mean spirited woman. I blamed myself for her loss and let her tell me what I could be and what I could not be.” She squeezed her shoulders and rubbed it in understanding. “ I could have reminded you of him.” She pointed at Sesan. “So everything from the morning of the day we met till the day you made that wish became a blur.”
Sesan was a changed man.
Pushing himself up, he walked around the table and stood in front of Isioma. “Isi, can you ever forgive me?” He regarded her with a pained expression.
When she did not return his stare, he moved away from the booth and walked towards their lodgings.
Ivie and Isioma remained in the booth for a little while longer.
Crying, hugging and trying to catch up on lost memories.

Towards evening, they returned to the lodge and retired to their separate rooms.
Someone was knocking at the door.
Ivie went to see who it was.
It was Mami.
Shaking her head in denial and disbelief she accosted her. “It is you isn’t it? You don’t look anything like the girl we rescued.” Mami smiled mysteriously and cautioned. “The eyes see what they want to see.” She padded to the door to Sesan’s room and knocked. When he came out, she did the same for Isioma and led them all through the kitchen to the back porch and ushered them into the swings.
Ivie took Isioma's hand, together they moved to stand opposite the swing Sesan took.
After they were seated, she passed around tiny sticks similar to the one the girl had given Isioma ten years ago. “You saved a young girl from certain harm giving her a second chance at life. A chance to experience life and do good things. She promised you a second chance as well a chance to right your wrongs. That promise will be fulfilled. Before you go to bed tonight think of what you did wrong and how you can right it. Each of you will be given a chance to return to the day you were together ten years ago and change the way your lives turned. You have two choices. You can choose to change your actions, forget this time and embrace the alternate future or change it and remember both futures.” She smiled at each of them. “Think real hard and choose wisely.” With that she gave a bow, turned around slowly and appeared to glide away.
Sesan looked at Isioma and made to speak. She held up her hand stopping him. “I remember all your sweet poison words Sesan, I forgot about them for a long time but I do now and I don’t want to hear them anyway. I am going to bed.” Clenching her fist around the stick, she walked into the house and made her way to her room.
Her phone was glowing, a call from Martin.
She did not pick.
She sat down on the bed and considered her options. Her life with Martin was not real. He was a good man that deserved someone better than her. Her son was precious but he needed a mother. If she could go back in time, she would throw her phone into the toilet and leave the state.
The Sesan she knew liked to be chased and adored. He would not bother to look for her until it was too late. Ivie was the best friend she did not have as a child and came to love dearly. Her friendship with her had caused her more harm than good.
She took a deep breath, reached for the lighter on the table beside the bed and lit the Joss stick.
As she let out the breath she was holding, she blew out the flames and whispered. “I want to be happy, I choose to forget the past and embrace the new future.” She dropped the now smoking stick in the ash tray on the stool beside the bed, took of her shoes and snuggled under the bed sheets.
She felt a heavy load being lifted off her chest.
She smiled radiantly and relaxed, everything was going to be alright.

Ivie looked at him with venom in her gaze. “Why did you hurt her?” he chuckled and shook his head in amazement. “Would you believe me if I said I didn’t mean to?” he placed his right thumb under his chin and smiled sadly. “ I loved Isi, heck, now I remember, I still do. I didn’t get married until five years ago because I was searching.” He looked at his left hand and rubbed at the mark his newly vacated wedding band left behind. “I am still searching. I’d always be searching because I found the person I was looking for years ago but was too vain to admit it.” Ivie got off the swing and stood in his face. “ You made me lose my best friend, I should hate you for that but funny enough, I don’t.” She squeezed his shoulders reassuringly. “You have a chance to make it right, fix it.” she smiled slyly and sashayed into the house.
Sesan relaxed on the swing and looked at the stick. Shaking his head doubtfully, he did not know what to think.
He was a rational thirty eight year old man and did not believe in voodoo, magic or witchcraft. However if it was possible that he could forget about Isioma the love of his life for all these years then anything was possible. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and brought out his lighter. He had resumed smoking when he realized Rukky was serious about the divorce and was planning on leaving him penniless. If this was going to work, he did not have to think too much. He knew what had to do, lighting the stick and blowing out the flames, he muttered. “If this works, I want my wife and do not want to remember how much of a bastard I have been.” He dropped the incense on the floor beside his sandals and stretched on the swing.
He was spending the night outside.
When dawn came, he was either going to wake up with an aching back or in the arms of his dear wife.

Ivie leaned with her back to the door and laughed out loud.
She got out her phone and sent a text to her mother. She read what she wrote out loud. “I love you mother, everything is going to be fine”.
She began to hum happily.
A part of her that was lost was found.
She felt alive.
She searched the drawers and found a box of complementary matches. Lighting a stick, she held it close to the Joss stick until it burned brightly. Blowing out the flames, she closed her eyes and inhaled. It smelled like citrus. She clicked her tongue in approval. "Not bad. She giggled in excitement and danced around the room spreading the scent of citrus as she did. She came to a stop in front of the mirror and spoke aloud. “I am ‘soooo’ going to be famous!” She giggled again and swung her hips in a boogie. “I want to remember! I want to remember everything, the past, the future, and the present. The food I ate last night, the clothes those two wore, Isioma’s kids name, Martin, the accident, everything!” She dropped the stick in an empty glass cup, padded to the bathroom to shower and brush her teeth. When she was done, she bounced into the bed and drew the duvet over her head, giggling like a little girl she stole a glance at the Joss stick still smoking in the glass cup.
She smiled dreamily and winked at the glass. “I am so looking forward to tomorrow.”

... to be continued

Jangolova (Part I)

September 27, 2013

There were 19 rooms in all.
Minus the bedrooms, living rooms and bathrooms, there were 5 other rooms.
As Isioma pulled the door of the indoor gym shut she let out a weary moan and trudged up the stairs. She stopped in front of the utility closet on the landing and deposited the cleaning items she had been lugging about the house within. The grandfather clock down the hall said it was quarter to one. She mopped her forehead with the back of her palm and sighed heavily. Martin and Izu would be home shortly.
When they arrived, she would take his coat and ask how his day was, he would say it was fine. She would take her 4-year-old son to his room nod while he prattled on about his activities in school and help him to change out of his school uniform. When that was done, she would return to the kitchen, to heat up lunch and serve her family. She would clean up after lunch, get dinner ready and soak the dirty dishes. After she was through with that, she would take Izu up, give him a bath and put him in bed. Then she would return to sit with Martin while he watched the evening news. When he turned in for the night, she would check to ensure she the doors were properly locked before retiring to bed. Come tomorrow, the cycle would begin again.
She was tired.
Tired from all the cleaning she had done in the house today, they once had two maids, a cook and nanny for Izu but she woke up one morning and decided to have them all fired
She needed the strain to make her feel alive. She felt empty; there was a hole inside her, each day it grew wider.
Martin did as she asked.
He did anything she asked without question.
Now, she was tired.
She trudged past the carpeted hallway and slipped into the master bedroom, Izu’s baby Tylenol was on the dresser; he had complained of a headache this morning. She figured it was another ploy to get her attention.
She did not have time for him these days.
She opened the container of Tylenol and drank straight from the bottle. It tasted like cough syrup; cherry flavor. She took another gulp then had an idea.
Running down the stairs, she made a beeline for Martins’ study.
On display in the cupboard behind his swivel chair was an assortment of drinks. She picked a vodka bottle, doubled back and made a left for the kitchen.
On getting in, she trotted to the worktable and snagged a mug from the rack. Ascending the stairs again, she returned to their bedroom and traded her work clothes for a bath towel and bedroom slippers.
Padding into the bathroom, she dropped her “loot” on top of the bath cabinet beside the sink, opened the medicine cabinet above the sink and stood on the tip of her toes to look for and select a bottle of aspirin. While she ran her bath water, it occurred to her that what she was about to do was wrong but she banished the thought from her mind.
She was dying inside; she could smell the decay of her flesh. She had been this way for so long that being alive was a faint memory. In the past, she was able to hide behind a beatific smile but she could not manage it anymore. She was in pain and wanted to end it.
She poured vodka into the mug, threw a palm full of aspirin into her mouth and washed it down with the vodka; drinking until the mug was empty.
She felt a burning sensation at the back of her throat.
The tap was overflowing; someone would have to clean the mess.
With towel, slippers and bottle of vodka, she clambered into the bathtub.

**********

Ivie waited and continued to wave until the car was out of sight. She turned around with a dreamy look on her face, caught her mother’s eyes and felt her heart slam into the wall of her chest with a thud. She was at the door. Waiting for her to come closer, she asked in an overbearing voice. “Who is that Ivie?” she looked down at her feet and answered. “He is Jason.” She added with a stammer. “My boyfriend.” Her mother surveyed her with piercing eyes. “Do you love this boy?” Still looking at her feet, she nodded. “Yes mother, I do. He loves me too.” She considered it for a second then spoke dismissively. “End the relationship. I do not want to see you with him anymore.” With that she made an about turn and strode into the house. Ivie stood rooted to the spot, shock flowing through her body at a loss for how to react. Slowly, she snapped out of the daze, shook off the feeling and ran after her mother remembering to bolt the door as she got in. she found her in the kitchen. “Mother, did you hear me? I said I love him. I will not break up with Jason.” Ignoring her, she picked up a newspaper spread it open and sat at the kitchen island which doubled as the dinning table Ivie did not move. After a while her mother closed the paper, folded it into two and used it to fan herself. “What do you do for a living Ivie?” taken aback by the question, she blinked several times before answering. “I am a teacher mother.” Her mother dropped the paper on the table and looked at her. “Correction; you are an underpaid secondary school teacher. You have no friends, no ambition and no future.” She unfolded the paper and spread it out again. “ Once you thought you could be more, you wanted to be better than me but then but you failed. I am all you have so you had better be grateful and stop acting obnoxious.” She eyed her scornfully. “Look at you, almost thirty and still living with your mother. Aren’t you ashamed? That so-called boy you are opening mouth to call boyfriend is too good for you. He is having fun with you. He will use you, drain you and leave you for a younger woman with more class.” Ivie threw up her hands, used her palms to cover her ears and let out a scream. “Stop it!” she dropped her hands and put her right hand over her chest as she continued she thought she was immune to her bitterness but she was not, her eyes misted with tears as she thought of her once sweet loving mother. “No mother, he wouldn’t! Jason loves me.” She darted to the living room and came back with her purse. Searching inside for something, she pulled out a pamphlet and placed it in on top the newspaper her mother was pretending to read. “Mother I do have friends and even though it doesn’t look like it at the moment, I have a bright future, me and Jason. I am supposed to be doing something, I feel it but I can’t seem to remember.” She pointed to the pamphlet. “This invitation is for me, I am going to Benin City to celebrate my 30th birthday.” She added uncertainly. “With my friends.” She swung the strap of the purse over her shoulders and made to leave the kitchen. Without looking up from the paper, her mother declared. “You’d do no such thing Ivie.” Something snapped within her; she had had enough. Feeling a surge of pent up rage, she spun around and stalked back to her mother. Furiously, she grabbed the pamphlet from the table and leaned down so they had eye contact . “Try and stop me.”

**********

She giggled and playfully swatted his fingers away. “Sesan you are such a naughty boy.” He dodged the onslaught, made a silly face and gathered her in his arms. Nuzzling her neck, he caused her to let out more giggles. After she had laughed uncontrollably for almost a minute, he stopped so she could catch her breath, released her from his embrace, and turned so he was kneeling straddled above her with hands pined on either side of her head. He planted a noisy kiss on her lips and asked. “So tell me, who is the best husband in the world?” she placed the index finger of her right hand on her chin, looked at the ceiling and studied it in concentration. “Erm, I’d have to think about that for a bit.” He made a buzzing noise. “Wrong answer.” He brought his hands to her side and began to tickle her again. Between peals of laughter, she managed to call out. “You are Sesan, you are!” he stopped tickling her, leaned to the side and stretched out his left hand to pick up the sheets that had fallen off the bed. Dragging them over his shoulders, he covered her as well and moved to lie beside her. Wrapping his left hand around her waist, he fondled her belly with his right hand and spoke softly. “So doctor Rukky, tell me. How was work today?” she rolled her eyes and turned to face him. “Now he asks me.” He feigned looking hurt. “I was going to get to that eventually. Cant blame a man for getting distracted by his really hot wife now would you. Sides, I was away for a month, I missed you.” He squeezed her in a tight cuddle and kissed her forehead. She brushed away her hair from her face, rubbing at the spot her kissed in the process. “You were away for two weeks Sesan.” He wriggled his shoulders. “Well, It felt like a month.” She rolled her eyes again and shook her head. “Work was fine, I accepted a party invitation on your behalf. It is a reunion for you and a couple of your friends. Sounds like fun, you are going.” He raised an eyebrow. “What party? I just got home; no way I’m leaving again.” With a snarling expression, she shifted to her back and faced the ceiling. “Check it out before you make a decision. The pamphlet is in the pocket of my blue jacket.” She pointed to the wardrobe. He let his finger trail from her throat to her navel then whispered sweetly. “Is this a ploy to get me out of bed?” he pinched her waist. Letting out a yelp, she rubbed the spot he attacked and pushed him off the bed. He landed on his feet, reached for his boxer shorts and pulled them on. Giving a mock salute, he spoke with a fake accent. “You have won the first round lady Rukky, I shall be back shortly for round two.” She gave a derisive snort, threw a pillow at him and reached for the magazine on the bedside table on her side of the bed. Sesan padded to the wardrobe pulled the door to her half open and reached for the first jacket he spotted. He searched the pockets until his fingers brushed against a piece of paper. Rukky looked up from the magazine she was flipping through and watched in horror as Sesan proceeded to open the scrunched up paper. She flew out of bed and made an attempt to snatch the paper from his hand. “No Sesan!” she pleaded. using one hand to block her, he laughed, stepped away from her reach and continued unfolding the paper. She turned from him and began putting on her discarded clothes. Sesan read the paper a look of confusion crossing his face then continued to stare at it unseeingly as his brain made sense of it all. It was a receipt dated 3 weeks ago for services rendered at a maternity clinic. There was a note scribbled on the reverse side. He read it out loud. “Its for the best my Rukichins, no regrets. Love, D.” he looked questioningly at her, waiting for an explanation.
She was fully dressed.
Standing in front of him, her face devoid of emotion she spoke flatly. “It wasn’t yours, he doesn’t want kids.” She took off her wedding band and placed it on the dresser. “I’m leaving you.” He let the paper slip out of his hand and fall to the floor. He stood and watched as she packed an overnight bag, walked out of the bedroom and their matrimonial home.
He spotted a brightly colored pamphlet sticking out of the pocket of her blue jeans jacket.
He had picked the wrong jacket.


.... To be continued