Black Birds

I was seated in this guy’s car, he happens to be someone that often makes me go: “Oseyi, your brain dey touch so? See correct bush meat for front you dey carry torchlight look bush” (aka gaga) but not for long though because I know him and me will never happen.
He’s cool, cute and smart (perfect combination for a heart breaker if you ask me).
While we were trying to ignore the fact that we were alone in a dark place and “no one was watching” should we decide to try out “interesting stuff” his phone rang.
It was his girlfriend.
After it rang unanswered for about the hundredth and twenty first time, I begged him to pick and swore I’d be quieter than the progress the Nigerian government is making in improving living conditions of the common man.
Not trusting my solemn vow (I wonder why) he picked the call and told her he was driving presently, he could not talk.
He promised to call her as soon as he was parked and reminded her of how much he loved her (so much for our moment) and blah- blah.
Night came, morning came and it was another day.
This event would have faded out of my memory in its own good time if not for the mad déjà vu I got when barley 24hrs later, I called the love of my life (he isn’t aware of this status by the way) and he told me he was driving and could not talk…

By my count, today is the 11th day of Christmas.
I have always known the song 12 days of Christmas but I assumed it was just something made up to give more children important roles like “gold rings”, “calling birds” and “turtle doves” to play.
It turns out the 12 days of Christmas does exist or a controversy surrounding the days anyway.
Since there is no concrete evidence to prove or disprove each school of thought, I’d follow the lead of theological scholars and leave you to decide for yourself.
With all the assorted birds flying around, leaping lords and milking maids, it would be easier to believe that the song is really about two lovers, a man showering his love with gifts and finally after she accepts his proposal, a wedding huge wedding (see: pipers playing).
The “calling birds” which turn out to be collie birds aka crows, seem to have been a delicacy at that time (they appeared in pies as well)

also the gold rings ( The five gold rings of the song were originally five ring-necked pheasants, not jewelry).
With so much reference to fertility and merry making, the link with paganism might not be too far fetched (apples represented females and pear’s: well endowed males).
Remember how GEJ used D’banj as part of his campaign strategy to make himself more popular with the erm… kokolets?
The Christians did something like that as well (not with D’banj though) they took the traditional pagan festivals and replaced them with Christian one’s.
It is told that in the 16th century, Christians where persecuted for teaching, speaking or even thinking Christianity so a couple of families together with Jesuits (smart people by the way) encoded the Christian doctrine in a seemingly innocent children’s song which they could sing openly without fear of arrest.

A partridge in a pear tree: Jesus (Luke 13:34)

Two turtle doves: The Old and New Testaments (which together bear witness to God's self-revelation in history and the creation of a people to tell the Story of God to the world).

Three French hens: The three Biblical magi and/or The Three Theological Virtues: Faith, Hope, and Love (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Four calling birds: The four Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, which proclaim the Good News of God's reconciliation of the world to Himself in Jesus Christ.

Five gold rings: The Torah or Pentateuch, the first five books of the Old Testament

Six geese a-laying: The six days of Creation

Seven swans a-swimming: Seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (Romans 12:6-8; cf. 1 Corinthians 12:8-11)

Eight maids a-milking: The eight Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-10)

Nine ladies dancing: Nine fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)

Ten lords a-leaping: The Ten Commandments. (Exodus 20:1-17)
Eleven pipers piping: The eleven faithful Apostles (Luke 6:14-16).

Twelve drummers drumming: The twelve points of the Apostles' Creed

No matter the myth, legend or source, it remains that as the Easter season begins on Easter Sunday and goes on for 50 days so also does the Christmas season which starts on Christmas Day, December 25th (the birth of Jesus) and ends at the Epiphany, January 6th *the day Christians celebrate the arrival of the Magi (Wise Men) and the revelation of Christ as the light of the world.
Twelfth Night is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as "the evening of the fifth of January, preceding Twelfth Day, the eve of the Epiphany, formerly the last day of the Christmas festivities and observed as a time of merrymaking."

In the spirit of Christmas, I bring you my top Santa sightings in the year 2012.

I am guessing Rudolph et al were too drunk to fly

What happened afterwards is best left to the imagination

Santa and his not so little helpers

Introducing... Mrs Claus (his Nigerian secret wife)!!

Santa always delivers!

...and then this little girl became overwhelmed by Santa's allure (note the tears of joy)

Santa, always a helping hand!

Seriously, whats not to love about this Santa?!

* For enquires to the criteria for rating, leave a comment!

Thanks to the now more secular society, the hunt for the next money making venture, shows and awesome discounts to lure "holiday shoppers", Christmas of late begins in November (and sometimes as early as October) and goes on all through early December so by the time December 25th (Christmas day) really does come, most of us have forgotten the true Christmas message and the spirit that goes along with it.

Tomorrow is the last day of Christmas, 2012 was a year of growth heralding great expectations for 2013.
My final toast is to the people who will get tired of the Nigerian "suffering and smiling" mentality and do something about it.

Merry Christmas every one and Happy New Year!