Thank You For Not Touching

House of Gold

Directed by Pascal Amanfo
Produced by Yvonne Nelson

Running Time: 1h 40m

Staring: Eddie Watson, Luckie Lawson, Majid Michel, Umar Krupp, Yvonne Nelson and Nigerian musicians Omawumi Megbele, Mercy Chinwo and Ice Prince Zamani

Plot summary:

House of Gold tells the story of Dab Ansah Williams. A high-flying entrepreneur, business mogul, polygamist and socialite, who is battling cancer and has six weeks left to live according to medical practitioners.
With the help of his long time associate and legal representative, he embarks on a mission to call all his children back home – most of whom were born out of wedlock and various illicit affairs.
The re-union proves a little more than everyone bargained for as each of his children return with an agenda setting the stage for the most hilarious and bizarre seven days.

Is it just me or do other people get “the itch” when they see signs like this -->
I would be happily skipping along the road minding my business when my attention would be caught by a brightly colored bill commanding me to do as it directed. At that instant, a little angel demon would wake up in my head and holler “or what?” menacingly at the sign. Then the eternal battle between good and evil would begin.
On occasion, I’d witness myself looking left, right then left again before leaning ever so slightly toward the goading sign to do the exact opposite of what was said.

Thanks to NEPA (I have refused to call it PHCN until the powers that be take to acting like the ‘grownups’ they claim to be and give us EPS – Light!), desperation and an awkward evening the night before, I decided that rather than go door to door with my charger and extension board in search of a pulsing port for my electricity powered devices I’d go see a movie (and charge my phone there).

I heard about Yvonne Nelson for the first time from Iyanya when he spent all of 4 minutes earnestly requesting for the waist of certain individuals in his 2012 hit track ‘Ur Waist’.
Faced with the choice of either waiting for an hour to see Wolverine (and charge my phone later) or seeing House of Gold and having a gander at Iyanya’s Yvonne Nelson (and charge my phone sooner) I opted for the ‘quick fix’.

The first thing that caught my attention was the beautiful man in a pilot suit (I’d get back to him later). Next was the conversation between a young wife and her friend plotting to sleep with her stepson. In my mind I went “sh*t!! It’s a Ghanaian movie!”
At that point, I had discovered that the wall socket I sat beside to was not working disappointed, I was about leaving the theater when my darling Omowumi came to view again.
That was how I stayed until the end.

Although the movie was no “Phone swap” <- my best ‘big screen’ Nigerian movie. It was way better than “The Meeting”, “Figurine” and “True citizen” *shivers at the memory of true citizen*. There was comedy, drama, romance and long- long- legs. It felt like watching tiny random interesting films inside a film. At the end of the movie there was music and I found myself getting up with the other moviegoers and shaking my tiny bum to Ice Prince’s ‘Aboki’. As I still needed to get my phone battery up, I sat in a corner at the mall until my phone was charged enough to come on then raced home with the sole purpose of finding out who the pilot in House of Gold was and my-my-my….

Have a beautiful weekend everyone!