The blues

For someone who loves to waddle, wriggle and splash the weather of late combined with my present location is dancing very close to the edge of being outright foul. I know it is Garden city – Rivers state and all that but come on!?
I am quite certain some figurative thoughts were at play when they named it so! I for one know that they do not go about passing random food hampers in Benue state – the food basket of the nation.

If I say the rain is wicked, the general agreement will be that “Oseyi has come again” (where I went to in the first instance? I do not know) but how else will I describe a thingy that falls in earnest for a bit, eases up and lets the sun come out to play, convinces you it is done with its theatrics and gets you to leave your umbrella/raincoat/boyfriend-slippers behind then jumps out from the clouds and douses you with its chilling presence?
It is bad enough that it was one of the deciding factors for my shocking liaison with the 'scissors of Bodija', now its acting like an obsessed monster, forcing you to bend to its will and failing to understand that NO MEANS NO (there is a not so flattering 4 letter word for this behavior. I even hear discusses about the legality and acceptance of related acts. (Something to do with old men, under developed little girls and VVF).
There’s just something about this so-called ‘weather for two’ that rubs me the wrong way. Then again, this 'rubbing' is a matter I’d like to table for discussion (not today though).

Saturday July 23, 2013
Like play like play, the month is sliding to a steady end.
This is a good thing, the whole hope characteristics of ‘man’ enables most people to look forward to tomorrow, the day after it and tolerate bull crap from the powers that be but before I hop on the trust wagon and chug-chug out of the month of July, I’d like answers to the few questions that manifested over the days gone by.
For ease of response, I have summed them into 4 categories. Please, feel free to supply answers where possible.

1. Of love

a. How does ‘ making a compromise’ differ from wanting the other party to change entirely to suit your lifestyle?
b. How do people walk away from the one they love and manage to live happily ever after with Mr./Miss. Suitable?
c. Love is a battlefield yeah? So after ‘Marriage’, what next?
Divorce?

2. Of living

a. I love my friends, relations and kinsmen. This I know. Where is it written that to prove this fact, I have one has to attend the ‘grand tribunal’ every Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, sacrifice a purple Billy goat, dance around a silver lock and serenade each and every member of this ‘love circle’ with calls and updates of their every thought?
b. Where are all the butterflies?
c. Nigeria is above 50 years old today. What is democracy?

3. Of behaviors

a. What is the definition of ‘Normal’? Who is sane and who is insane?
b. The madmen and women that parade the streets; what are they looking for, who are they talking to and where do they get their change of clothes?
c. At “No strings attached/friends with benefits”: how does it work, when does it end and whose bright idea was it?
d. * Erased due to graphic nature*

4. Unclassified

a. Where do babies come from?
b. Will Nigerian roads ever be fixed to a good working condition?
c. Can I die for my president, will you?
d. Cashless Nigeria?

Thank you for your anticipated assistance (and shared wisdom – I truly appreciate), have a lovely weekend and do not ask me what question 3d was about.
Cheers!!