Dear diary

So that’s how one scantily dressed musician took my favorite cookies and turned them into a euphemism for sex (or something like it).

There I was minding my business (sort of) and looking for food to eat when my attention was caught by ‘Oreo’ boldly crested across the TV screen. I halfheartedly continued the task at hand and begun stealing glances at the TV wondering what was coming next. I looked away for a bit.
When I looked again, there was a bowl of said cookies on screen with a man and woman looking like they were about to do ‘grown up things’ in the background. By now I was salivating for the cookies and decided to perch on the edge of the sofa curious to know what was coming next.

That decision was my mistake.

The rest of the song is a blur.

The end of it all is that now I can’t honestly look at a piece of Oreo cookies without wondering

a. If that’s sugar or Iyanya’s #### lying snugly between the cheeks of the cookie sandwich and
b. If I’m about to lick, bite and chew Iyanya.
Like seriously?
I mean why?
Why Oreo? Of all the desserts, confectioneries and treats, it had to be the one I like!
To make matters worse, so people like me can’t make up excuses for him or say he could be referring to something else, he made sure he had Oreo samples splattered all over the video. I’m sure if I watch the song again I will find more Oreos in sublime locations.
What ever did Oreos do to him? Why oreo? I mean there is the whole McVities brand family to choose from – hobnobs, digestive, shortbread even short cake amongst others. There is Maryland cookies, Danish and if he wants to go the Naija way, there is Noreo, Coaster and the mother of all mainstays – Cabin!

Why Oreos? Why? Why? Why???!

*Pause here for dramatic rant*

At the end of the day, I ended up eating one kian yam porridge that had a hint of vinegar, no onions, plenty fish and tomato puree.
The height of the porridge was when a white French-ish (he speaks fluent French and struggles with English) Chef cleaned out his plate with the conclusion that the food was spicy but good – bon!

Which brings me to another entry; the day I wandered towards yonder.

It would have been a regular normal story if it had not involved a yellow man, a red taxi, a cold bed and an impulsive urge to er… wander?

... To be continued