Pressing desire

The weather was wickedly cold!

The initial plan was to take a leisurely stroll on one of the muddy pothole infested roads which usually run through the streets and freeways of Nigeria but it soon turned to a game of "hopscotch" as I commenced hopping from one foot to the other playing virtual hopscotch with the “ankle twisters” aka potholes while trying to dodge dirty splashes from tire’s hastily meeting puddles as mobile road users meandered blindly through imaginary traffic in a bid to get… home?
Like though some invincible trainer slash coach was not impressed by my sudden athletic prowess as displayed in the impromptu workout session I was having, he decided to intensify my session. I was next presented with the curious task of finding “proper” sites to direct my gaze to as first one then another car parked in front of me to let out frantic male occupants who were in quite a rush to answer “natures call”.
It seemed like every twelve steps I took summoned both car and driver from nowhere, compelled them to divert from their initial destination and pee at my feet.
When the third car repeated this routine and presented not two but four occupants (all male), I had to stop, look about and survey my surroundings in case there was a sign or banner of sorts I failed to notice earlier.

Where I was coming from or going to on that wickedly cold day in June is something I hope to discuss some other day but for now, it is a hush-hush affair *wink*.

Before I keep mum, I’d ask no one in particular the following question:
Why it is okay for a man to whip out his “willy” when the urge rises and take a piss anywhere in public and not be judged whereas a woman discovered in a compromising position (say standing in a squat with legs apart – one slightly ahead of the other, skirts raised to a decent height with the fingers of her right and left hands lost somewhere between the folds of her dress) going about her business is frowned upon and in some places called dirty? Why cant what holds true for "Peter" not be applied for "Paul" (or Pauline in this case)?

Word of the day:

Toi·let!

pronounced /ˈtoilit/
Noun
A large bowl for urinating or defecating into, typically plumbed into a sewage system and with a flushing mechanism.

Get it?



Surprise – surprise! We are in the month of June, 6 months down the chute.

By this time in December (last year) the trending topic was “new year resolutions”, attitude and mantras for “twenty taa-teen” (2013).

Question:

a) Did you make resolutions last year?
b) Do you remember your resolutions?
c) How many have you accomplished and
d) What is holding you back from the rest?

I remember my TO DO LIST

I’d like to believe I’ve done 2 out of 4 *clears throat* which is quite fair based on the fact that I still have 6 months to get to the remaining 2 but then again, who am I deceiving?

Earlier this evening, I hurried past a man and his ram out for walk in the market in a bid to get a handsome bunch of plantain for myself before the “night shoppers” got to it.
The first thought that occurred to me was “is this the same man that had the goat from last week” the next thought was “is he happy?” I did not stop to deliberate on these musings, I had a mission to accomplish.

As I made my way home victoriously swinging my cute fingers of plantain snugly settled in the nylon bag the nice lady had sold them in, I thought of my resolutions for 2013 and wondered…