Living Flavours!

Random Do’s and Don’ts for the Yuletide season

Do not:

1. Hang mistletoe (or anything that suggests “kissing allowed”) in your partners abode especially if he/she resides in a “high traffic” space

2. Feel low because you think everyone has it better than you. That person is human after all and he/she would die one day.
Oh and looks can be deceiving as well!

3. Forget the reason for the season, it is a beckon of hope and celebration of the relentless love God has for (all) sinners.
Share the good news!
You should spread warmth and love to family, friends and associates (even those you hate)

4. Keep complaining of how bad things are! What have you done to fix it?


Do:

1. Sing a happy song, dance and laugh. If you can read this, you are alive be thankful.
2. Return a friendly greeting. Be courteous and polite; what goes around comes around.
good people still exist.

3. Ask a question when you are not sure of what it is. Assumptions can lead to certain death and that’s a fact!
4. Say it if it is important, listen to the “horses” version and accept the truth. On the other hand, keep it to yourself if it will not have a positive impact.

Know your ingredients…

1. Phosphoric acid: used as an additive to acidify foods and beverages. It’s the stuff responsible for the acidity of soda!

Other uses include; for the removal of rust, dental cement, electrolyte in phosphoric acid fuel cells,

removal of hard water stains in construction trades and as a pH balance in cosmetic industries.


2. Gelatin: a colorless slightly yellow transparent brittle protein formed by boiling the skin, bones and connective tissues of animals (especially pigs).

Gelatin can be found in: cake icing, glazes and cream.

Also in shampoo, hair conditioners and lipstick. Dairy products, canned hams and nail formula. Other uses include: clarification of wine and photography.

3. Xanthan gum: fermenting corn sugar with the xanthomonas campestris bacteria makes xanthan gum. The result is a slimy goo that is then dried up and ground to a fine white powder. This common bacterium is responsible for frequent outbreaks of dark spots on the leaves of vegetables. It is harmless to humans. Xanthan gum is used in salad dressings, dairy products and cosmetics.

4. Sorbitol: is an artificial sweetener that has about one third less calories than sugar.

It is a popular chewing gum ingredient that is sought for its ability to bring down cab count. Sorbitol can also be found in: diet soda (soda again?), toothpaste, mouthwash, cigarettes, laxatives and tobacco

5. Carmine: aliases include; carmanic acid, cochineal, Natural Red 4, crimson lake. It consists of a mixture of crushed female beetles. The part of the insect that contains the most carmine is the abdomen (it houses fertilized eggs).

Carmine is used to artificially dye foods red, purple and pink.

Carmine can be seen in fruit juices, energy drinks, berry punches, ice-cream, yoghurt, candy fillings, chewing gum, eye shadow, lipstick, powdered drinks, blush, eyeliner, ketchup, artist paint, crimson ink and cloth dye.

(So it turns out I have in my possession items which contain all five interesting ingredients... Yeay me?)


... To be continued

* If i feel like sha

S/S: People of the Rock

A·be·o·ku·ta (under the rock) could pass for the birthplace of an epic tale.

There would be stories of valor, romance, betrayal, sacrifice and blah-blah.
Unfortunately, our beloved Nollywood citizens are busy waiting for the next American blockbuster to *9jarise so this is just me thinking wistfully.


Towering 137meters above sea level the resplendent OLUWA MǪ (God molded) aka Olumo rock stands till this day.
Brief history...

In the 19th Century, about the time tribal wars ravaged the Yoruba kingdom.
A great hunter (sadly not Chris Hemsworth from Snow White and the huntsman) by the name of Adagba discovered the rock.
The people were directed by the Ifa oracle to take refuge underneath the rock.

While the able bodied men went to battle, the women and children remained safely hidden beneath the rock.
This continued for about 3 years.

(I do not think they smiled much while at it though)

Traditionally, when a man dies, he is buried behind his house.

Here lies the body of a man, buried behind his house.
Legend has it that in honor of the dead, he was responsible for the cleaning and care of the area's surrounding the Egba war time hideout

Olumo rock is believed to have magical powers; healing and otherwise.
When it rains, water gathers at the peak of the rock.
After 7 days, traditional healers gather this water and use it in the treatment of various ailments.
The Iroko tree at the peak of the rock has stood for over 200 years

There is a story of how 3 White men attempted to blow up a part of the rock while prospecting for minerals.
After the explosion, a crack appeared on the face of the rock with blood and pus oozing out...
The White men were sacrificed to the rock.

There are 5 kings in Abeokuta
Alake of Egbaland
Olowu of Owu
Agura of Gbagura
Oshile of Oke Ona and
Olubare of Ibara

Once a year, the door to the shrine is opened and Oba Alake and the chief priest go within to offer sacrifice and prayers for peace, harmony in the land and safety of climbing tourist (no casualty has ever been recorded).
In the past, humans were sacrificed (this was before the missionaries brought Christian religion educating them on how wrong it is to use people for "parts").
It was and still is a taboo to use indigenes for sacrifice so, charms were made to lure foreigners to be used.

The use of people has been replaced with the use of cattle, poultry and crops.


Olumo rock houses people of the land to this day mainly the priests and priestesses who monitor and perform traditional rites on shrines under the rock.
Some of the deities are Obalu Aye deity, ‘Orisa Igun’ meaning the deity for longevity, Akoko Tree for Alake’s coronation, among others.
Relics of their ancestors and hero's past are preserved in symbols and objects

Below is a picture of goat. The goat is not a relic (I named it Kanayo)

Notable Egba people include:
Madam Efunroye Tinubu, the 1st Iyalode of Egba clan (is she related to Tinubu of lagos state?)

Fela Kuti, now deceased a talented out spoken man

Olusegun Obasanjo, he has a very big farm and did something with the price of petrol while he was president of Nigeria.

Moshood Kashimawo Olawale (MKO) Abiola

Wole Soyinka (cool guy)

*
*

S/S: Sights and Sounds
9jarise: take a popular and/or known thing and attempt to make it proudly 9jan.


- O

Addictions

John Anonymous
SS3
Biology Paper

Part B, Theory

2a: characteristics of living things include
i. living things can jump
ii. living things can play ball
iii. living things can go to the buka and buy snacks
iv. living things can sing

2b. specimen a is a spider, specimen b is a weevil
2c. similarities between both specimens include:

The question that follows should be whose fault is this?
The student or the teacher?
The school or the parent?
The society or the Government?


Proverbs 22:6
" Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it"

Everywhere, there are schemes and programs popping up aimed at creating a better Nigeria:
Skills acquisition..., Woman empowerment..., Small business enterprise...
These endeavor's are nice attempts, all of them but I feel they are missing the point.

How about the children?
Our youths; the leaders, fathers and mothers of tomorrow?
How about their education?


Whatever happened to spelling bees, literary, debate and quiz competitions?
Have they gone out of fashion or have they lost their relevance?
I wonder.

There are sex, drink and drug addictions but the worst addictions are the ones we refuse to admit.

I am going to digress a bit and talk about a boy.
Or, maybe I shouldn't (not now anyway, later!)

Because I Said So!

Having a cold shower early in the wickedly cold morning is not funny.
Not funnier is finding out (after the wickedly cold shower) you left your towel in the other room because you first of all (*do not go down low) dropped it when you quickly threw on a shirt to answer the door for your over zealous trash collector and then later became so much in a hurry to make it a little earlier than late to work that you ran to the bathroom almost immediately and braved the ice cold water.
Running naked with water dripping down your back might look sexy, appealing and hot in the movies but in real life, it is *@#**ed! (pardon my french).

Then there is Daniel!
Daniel is a rambunctious 13 year old from Imo state, Nigeria.
He made me speechless for all of 20 seconds when he told me point blank that a woman's place is in the kitchen.
When I had my wits about me, I got up from my perch, pulled out a seat for him and invited him to parley with me.
Further discussions revealed his mother as the source for his convictions.
She told him that in the kitchen lies a woman's power, that if the husband were to take that from her, she would be powerless.
So basically, my 7 years in the university was a complete waste of time as my life ambition ought to be dreaming of the day when that special man would take me into his house to lord over his pots, pan and silverware.
Daniel can make a sandwich, does not like beans and wants to be a lawyer when he grows up.

Yesterday, when I got in late and was asked why, I said under my breath that it was because there was juju on the road.
Today, I stopped by said juju and took a picture of it

Tied around a stick are pieces of red cloth, snail shells and a very short broom.
I do not know if the snail is still in its shell or out with friends but examining a dangling snail on a lonely bush path did not seem like such a good idea at the time.
It appears that putting a nice friendly signpost with a "do not disturb" does not quite work for everyone.

The thought of Friday scares and excites me because I plan on doing something very (very) naughty.
It involves fluids, flashes and latex.
I am curious as to whether I'd do it or chicken out last minute.
What do you think?

Yeah since I mentioned it and cant now seem to get the song out of my head, here's Olamide!

He did his own version of azonto with the song "First of all" - freestyle. The track gets me every time. Heck get down low if you want to!!

- Oseyi

See Fada see Oyibo!

Sunday!
I swear, Sunday crept in on me and I was not prepared.
Today is even Monday!!
O how time flies.

Things I did not do Friday

1. Get carving knife.
2. Use my mind to clean the house (did it with a broom instead on Sunday)
3. Get a good reason for not attending the wedding (went and had a *to be continued blast!)

When I was much younger (the age when my father #especially when I was ill and refused to accept food of any kind# would convince me that diced pineapple was a special type of ice cream that will melt in my mouth after I ate it) my Uncle P told me how the word Oyibo (oyibo was slang for a white man i.e light complexioned skin that changes color to suit the present emotion - embarrassed: red, sick: green, cold: blue, etc. I say "was" because now, thanks to "skin toning, highlighting and lightening soaps and creams, any one can be an oyibo, ask Izy!) could be easily interchanged with priest.
There were so few that whenever you were to see a priest, he was most likely to be a white man.
Saying "see fada, see oyibo" then was like saying "six and half a dozen" now.

Sunday:
The message from the pulpit was about the coming celebrations; Christmas, boxing day... the new year! (For those too busy hustling to notice the weather change).
How we has humans strive to perform better when we know there would a suitable reward for our labors, having expectations and working towards a goal.
It would have been a perfect Sunday if earlier in church, I was not doing battle with the demon of sleep who pulled down my eyelids when ever we were asked to sit.
All through the struggle, I felt like part witch that went for convention during the night and part "Okpo" who spent the night "servicing" high end clients but, to God be the glory, I prevailed!
After having almost sprained my ankle form walking into a pothole that wasn't there initially, I returned to a house without power supply and washed my legs with the last drop of the water I paid mummy F to source and fetch for me.
It occurred to me that good roads, electricity and pipe borne water could pass for rewards for hard work but unfortunately, we as a people (children of a country over 50 years old) are still "expecting".

Saturday:
Was a blast, ooooh am in lurv!! Would talk about it next time.

Is it just me or to cockroaches now feed on camphor?

- Oseyi

Dream factory complaint form

I can confidently say under oat that in the last two weeks I have not seen, listened to or perceived horror movies of any sort so when twice in one night, I was awoken at "unholy hours" by first the feeling that I was not the only one in my bedroom (it felt like a vampire was saying prayers before meal) and next being dragged home by a lioness as dinner for her cubs I begin to wonder just where dreams come from.

My Friday night is best forgotten; how a day can nosedive from being promising to stark raving depressing is beyond me but happen it did and live through it I did (special thanks to "monkey man" for chasing away the Friday blues, you get a banana! *wink*).

Hello Saturday!!

Things to do today

1. Stop trying to use my mind to get rid of the cobwebs in the room and get friendly with a broom.

2. Either come up with a foolproof excuse for not attending the wedding or find a dress that would not shock my "christian sister" or make me look like an "mmgbeke" (the last part is more important).

3. I should get a good quality carving knife, never know when the need might arise.

4. Get up from bed!

Talking about getting up, how come there are no longer talks about increase in global warming, ozone depletion and the need for conservation?

Has the environment suddenly righted itself or have we made less important things our priority?

There used to be a song taught during my primary school days about how kids and everyone should learn to Reduce, Reuse and Recycle.
Musicians and people in the entertainment industry promoted healthy living and things good for a growing child, but as I write this, "kpakurumo", "your waist" and " make I knack you akpako" keep replaying in my head.
Self destruction, objectifying women and lawless living has been made to look cool.

I'd end this with the lyrics and link to a song by a gorgeous, beautiful, talented and vibrant lady Ty Bello, she was on to something, enjoy!

- Oseyi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBOFGDFyz1I




"The Future" - Ty Bello

VERSE 1
We are the future
We are the dream
We are the nation
We are part of this

Yes we are so amazing
That’s the least we shall be
At the heart of the nation changing history

BRIDGE
How can they say that we are finished
We have just begun
When we have no where else to run to
We have no where else to go

So get out of the way
Out of the way Of the land of our dreams
We are the nation we are part of this
We are the nation we are part of this

CHORUS
Ooooh, Carry the song
Carry the sound
The future is here
The future is here
Goodbye yesterday
Tomorrow is now for the taking
The future is here
The future is here

VERSE 2
I am the future
I am the dream
I am the nation
I am part of this

Yes I am so amazing
That’s the least l shall be
At the heart of the nation changing history

BRIDGE/CHORUS
The future
The future has
The future has come

Paper or Plastic?

One of these day's I'd build up the nerve to go the store beside the shop where I grind tomatoes in the market and ask if they have 2 dozen pregnant flies, a tortoise's first dream or the eye balls of virgin frogs.
I mean, for a "spiritual shop" I would not expect any less from them.
It wouldn't surprise me if they have a working POS machine on the premises and the attendant asks me if I'd like the pregnant flies wrapped in paper or plastic.

But until I grow a second pair of kidney that would enable me work the liver to allow me walk into a "juju" store, I guess I'd keep walking past said store and wondering what else they have in stock.

Oh! And how many of the people I have come across so far patronize them .


Today's lessons:

1. Garri Ijebu and stew will never pass for a satisfying plate of "swallow".

2. When the love of your life introduces you as "my er- friend" you can be certain that you are on a very "long thing".

3. Never fart in the staff room when there are less than 2 persons present (or it is likely that you will not be by yourself in the staff room for long).

4. The person that came up with the idea of "if you miss someone, call" was on some sort of cheap high.


I believe soon, Nigeria would be ours. You can either agree with me or go and hug transformer.

What did you do today?

- Oseyi

Bugs to taste

You can not begin to imagine the disappointment I felt after having successfully devised a way of keeping "bole" hot for longer, I set the table before me armed with a chilled sachet of pure water and my trusty blackberry phone (to snap my food before eating it; this seems to have taken the place of prayers before meals) only to pop open a "brand new" bottle of ketchup and jump back in surprise as winged insects scuttled out.

The seriously "9jan" part of me wanted to use a spoon to remove the insects and continue eating but the health wary me who couldn't figure out how live insects got into a sealed bottle of ketchup decided to close the bottle back, insects and all and eat my bole "without" t'was a sad evening for me me and my bole I tell you.

I promised to wow all and sundry with my next post but due to cases that involve casting out demons, shining my eye's and stalking men, me and my pc have been having an estranged relationship.

All this will change ( hopefully -gulp)

The idea of Salt, Lime and Stranger things is to (aside from that which the name implies) try out different flavors, mix to match, say whats on my mind and on the minds of those who dare to think it.

I am 1st an African, among other things so do not expect me to shun where I am from.
On occasion, I could decide to be a boy or a girl depending on my mood, nothing do me, na me get my mouth.





- Oseyi

Mother may I?

So this started because I publicly admitted my fear of * coupled with the new uncanny urge to * whenever I-
Messy, messy, messy work.
Not my fault though.
I learned the hard way that starting a sentence with "so" will not score me any points in the literally clubhouse, so am learning to ditch the so's.
On second thought, who gives a hick? I know I do not.
Okay maybe I do, just a little bit but c'mon! life's short!
Short, annoying, unpredictable, inaudible and arrgh! I believe if it (it being life) came with a "how to" manual, things would be a whole lot simpler.
Speaking of simpler, I'd like to formerly announce that until further notice, Saturday's are not my best days.
In the near future, you'd come to understand but until then, look busy and act like you follow.
Where to begin? Whoa! this is huge.
I do not know where to start from.
Here's what would happen... I'll wrap it up here (for now), go somewhere nice and quiet, get my act together then come right back and set this page on fire!