To go

On Saturday the 26th of October (best month in the year FYI) I attended a wedding!
Snugly nestled between my father and mother dearest, I realized 2hrs into the event that had been asleep for about all of the first hour.
Problem was not that I was unhappy, unexcited or sent from ‘the village’ its just that hearing 20 people say "I yam am" and "I doom do" one at a time over and over again gets boring after the 3rd round of ‘consents’.
Coupled with the fact that most of the service was in a language I do not speak or understand it became extremely hard to say “No!" and "Get thee behind me.” to the evil spirit coaxing my eyes shut.
After the service, I went for the reception.

It was there I fell in love.

Not with the groom as someone like me might assume (or the bride either!) but with the family receiving the new bride. From where I sat, I could feel love, understanding and unity as the groom’s siblings and kin scurried around looking all bothered, anxious but happy. Welcoming guest, offering hugs/smiles and making people generally feel at home. I wanted to be a part of that family!

Watching them in action brought strength to the saying that getting married is easy but staying married is the big deal.

The thing with weddings is that no matter what your reason for getting hitched is, after the initial badaboom-badabing it becomes a "do you?” "I do" and swearing to stick to your spouse for better or for worse, seven heads and all affair.
The old difference between the East and Western cultures was that while the Western worlds accepted disagreement and seperation between couples when the reason for doing so was justifiable the Eastern culture frowned upon it.
The rule then was that "unna talk say na for better and for worse, you dey run the together show abi? As yawa don gas now, you wan check out? C'mon fall in!! Wetin you bin think say the ‘for worse’ part resemble?"

Then, divorces were not as common.

You come in freely, you make an agreement, and you sign a contract yeah?

You stick to it.

We have failed unions and then we have FG and ASUU.
The difference between these troubled couples is that for the latter, aside from the 'biological children' suffering from the bitter arguments and hurtful exchanges, there is the petty trader in the shopping complex on campus caught somewhere between the standoff that suffers as well.

Worried, her fear is that soon her eldest daughter would go into full-blown prostitution, as she cannot afford to take care of the younger children due to the strike action. The daughter calls these men that drop her off at unholy hours of the day her ‘friends’. They give her an amount of money that ‘she does not work for’. She knows she should stop her but Junior the baby of the house is on admission in the University Teaching Hospital which comprises striking/absent doctors and she is broke.
You see, their father is dead and his family shunned her.
She sold the rest of what she owned to acquire the shop and get it stocked. It became the source of their livelihood, security and all.

I have stopped obsessing over the knowledge that a huge chunk of taxpayer’s money is being wired across border to develop our neighboring sister countries like Chad, Benin, Cameroon and Niger. These nice people are offering our Nigerian children uninterrupted educational supply for a hefty sum, a sum which they use to upgrade their schools, communities and amenities. Who cares that Nigeria is loosing the money we say we do not have?

Finally, these series of nuptial celebrations have got me fantasizing about my dashing prince charming and our happily ever after.
Public service announcement; I’m getting married!!
Hehehe

Speckled Impression

There’s this song I grew up listening to in church, it goes somewhat like “I’m a millionaire-ah-ah-ah, I’m a millionaire. I’m a happy-happy-happy millionaire”.
It is on the top of my list of favorite Christian songs.
As ‘talented’ as I am, I have never pretended to or claimed to know how to carry a tune.
Sing?
Maybe I can, probably to save my life or that of someone I really care about but if I were to rate my singing ability on a scale of one to ten, I’d give my self a minus one with zero being “somebody-save-us-please!!!-Kindly-turnoff-that-rambling–contraception-before-we-gouge-out-our-ears-with-a-copper-file.Shoot-it-beat-it-squish-it-kill-it-whatever-just-make-it-stop!

So when I was younger, I would clutch my hymnbook anxiously, hold my breath and pray that ‘today’ would be the day they sing the song. Some days I got lucky, my prayer would be heard and the choir master would announce the hymn. I’d quickly flip to the page and hum slash recite the words along with the singing choir.
I always felt uplifted by their rendition and dreamed of happy days to come – having my very own castle complete with flying pony, perfect tea sets and cooperative playmates.
On other days, I was not so lucky.
It didn’t bother me much though. Rather I carefully put away my hymnbook and look forward to the next time. Maybe, I’d get lucky then.

I still love the song till date; problem is

I realize that now unlike before instead of attempting to sing along and get into the groove of the spirit, I’d be busy watching for those who are singing.
I’d then pick out the seemingly single men and keep an eye on them. When they get to the “ I’m a happy millionaire” part I’d notice my gaze traveling down to inspect their shoes, accessories, clothing and back to their face. Usually, I am able to stop there, regain composure and go back to the point of worship but on more occasions, I find myself waiting for the subject of my perusal to catch my gaze so I can give him a look that implies “you this wicked man, is it me you are trying to deceive?”
The clueless man’s reaction is best left to the imagination.

Like play like play, today is Friday October 11 2013 and ASUU is still on strike, not only are Fayrouz, Cheese balls and color-blocking girls becoming scarce but non students are gradually beginning to get used to the idea of having jobless young adults restlessly sit home gazing at the living room ceilings (where applicable)from morning till night wondering whether his/her boyfriend/girlfriend is being faithful to them where ever they are.

In a bid to understand what is going on in my beloved country with respect to education and youth development I have stopped skipping to the next station when the news bulletin is on.
From what I have gleaned there is some sort of love triangle going on with one party looking for who to beat/kidnap/take to court, another party looking for who to bully/coerce/take to court and the 3rd party playing the helpless victim.

In other news; a couple of rams have been detained for violating sanitation laws, a kindly governor handed out galaxy tabs to school children who have no power supply in their places of refuge (pitiful homes), portable drinking water or good school uniforms and finally police encourage citizens to be more trusting and forthcoming. After all the police is your friend!

To end this, I’d pray for Nigeria and make a decree; there will be peace, progress and prosperity, if not today, then tomorrow or the next but it will happen some time in my day...

Do not pout people, smile!

E go better.

Guess the gadget

Thanks to my present ‘unemployed’ status, getting internet for my personal use has turned into something from a movie plot – think ‘James Bond meets Mary Poppins’.
Although it has occurred to me to look for a cheaper service provider and get peace of mind from honest dealings as compared to crouching huddled in a corner to use ‘borrowed goods’/perching in front of an archaic desktop computer that makes video cassettes look futuristic, I believe my hesitation now is caused by rumors about * communication blocking concrete walls that have got me thinking 'what's the worse that could happen?'.

I woke up this morning to realize I have a new ability.... Sleep writing!!

It appears I updated my blog at a time all indications prove I was asleep (Green, White and other colors <- ps: if the link I placed there does not appear and you are interested in surveying a manifestation of my alleged new ability kindly hit the home link and select the title). I went through the old and new Nigerian National anthems again this morning and I wonder… Once we were a 'rich' country, we were doing so well. Where did we miss our step, when did we loose focus - What went wrong Nigeria? After checking to ensure I did not mention onion, pepper or tomato portions (I have been told in severe cases of sleep deprivation, I become a tomato seller and start haggling over prices) I decided to keep the post - although I am still trying to figure out the relationship between the hibiscus flower, ASSU strike and Nigeria’s Independence Day. While looking for colored pens I may have stashed away in a cupboard I hardly ever use, I came across carefully warped objects labeled in my writing.

I starred at them for quite a while trying to figure out why they looked so familiar before enlightenment hit me.
They were diskettes!!!
I was curious about what information could be so precious that I went through such measures to keep the diskettes protected and hidden.
While holding my breathe, I searched for somewhere/thing to slot it in.
Surprise – surprise, the CPU of archaic computer had a floppy drive but sadly the disks could not be read (said to format diskettes).

Needing a reference letter as part of my application requirements for a job as a science graduate, I met a prospective referee and asked if he would assist me. In a heartbeat, he was like “sure! No problem” provided I write the letter, he would lend me his letter headed paper and signature.
He even suggested I meet my dad for a draft.
Taking his advice, I printed a copy of my CV and submitted to the Prof only for him to call my attention after 24hrs and tell me that from my CV, I should be looking for jobs in media, tourism and publication industries. Go figure!
Such is life I guess. Like the wise ones say “sdgfjcdmbcdhgfasgndk khona!”






*


* there is this belief that the bad telecommunications network prevalent in the area is as a result of the thick concrete used in erecting the buildings. So for a clear signal, one has to stand directly under the sun or beside an outdoor antenna.
Please, advise: is there logic to this theory?

Green, White and other colors

The idea was to switch to patriotic mode 1st thing in the morning and go on and on and on about how I love Nigeria and blah.
After doing that, the next was to celebrate the national day and spread love to those who couldn't find a reason to celebrate. After making efforts to get my cheer on, I sat in front of the computer to write and bam! NEPA struck, the power went out.
Taking with it the battery life of the desktop computer I was using and in the process leaving me deflated.
As I sat staring at the now black computer screen, trickles of the 1st Nigerian national anthem came to me. I struggled to remember the rest. With a little help from my ‘sister’ from a non-biological mother, I was able to get the whole thing.
Written by Lillian Jean Williams, composed by Frances Berda and trending from 1960 to 1978, it was as follows:

Nigeria we hail thee
Our own dear native land
Though tribe and tongue may differ
In brotherhood we stand
Nigerians all and proud to serve
Our sovereign motherland
Our flag shall be a symbol
That truth and justice reign
In peace or battle honor
And this we count as gain
To pass unto our children
A banner without stain
O God of all creation
Grant this our one request
Help us to build a nation
Where no man is oppressed
And so with peace and plenty
Nigeria may be blessed.

By a series of incredible events, I was privileged to experience education in two different settings both within the same school and state.
In the first, the lecturers relied on government funding, encouraged us to use our imagination to ‘connect the dots’, told us stories of how things ought to be and made education a ‘cram or fail’ affair.
In the second, the lecturers made use of their personal earnings, supplied us with aids to bring what they were teaching to life and encouraged us to ask and attempt questions no matter how silly we thought we’d end up seeming.

It is not hard to figure out which of the above had a higher examination success rate amongst its students.

With the president of the national students union threatening to place a bounty on not only the heads of my friends but the heads of people I love as well, I’ve been in a somewhat perplexed state.
Is he aware of what ASSU is fighting for?

Arise, O Compatriots,
Nigeria’s call obey
To serve our Fatherland
With love and strength and faith
The labor of our heroes past
Shall never be in vain,
To serve with heart and might
One nation bound in freedom,
Peace and unity.
Oh God of creation,
Direct our noble cause
Guide our leaders right
Help our youth the truth to know
In love and honesty to grow
And living just and true
Great lofty heights attain
To build a nation where peace
And justice shall reign.
Written by Sotu Omoigui, John A. Ikechukwu, Babatunde A. Ogunnaike, P. O. Aderogbu Eme and Etim Akpan and composed by Benedict Odiase. This anthem was adopted in 1978 and remains the same to this day.
Feeling rebellious, I wrapped myself in black clothes, shoes and makeup, took a tour of the city and was in for a surprise.
At the end of today, there’s so much I want to say that I’ve decided to say nothing.
Like it or not, this country is ours. It is our home, source of nurture and the bedrock that makes us who we are – Nigerians.
The date is 1st October 2013.
I know this because I am alive and thankful.
Have a blessed month.